Hey Friends,
I want to pass along these great quotes, one hundred to be exact, from "The Secret"
1. We all work with one infinite power.
2. The Secret is the Law of Attraction (LOA).
3. Whatever is going on in your mind is what you are attracting.
4. We are like magnets - like attract like. You become AND attract what you think.
5. Every thought has a frequency. Thoughts send out a magnetic energy.
6. People think about what they don't want and attract more of the same.
7. Thought = creation. If these thoughts are attached to powerful emotions (good or bad) that speeds the creation.
8. You attract your dominant thoughts.
9. Those who speak most of illness have illness, those who speak most of prosperity have it..etc..
10. It's not "wishful" thinking.
11. You can't have a universe without the mind entering into it.
12. Choose your thoughts carefully .. you are a masterpiece of your life.
13. It's OK that thoughts don't manifest into reality immediately (if we saw a picture of an elephant and it instantly appeared, that would be too soon).
14. EVERYTHING in your life you have attracted .. accept that fact .. it's true.
15. Your thoughts cause your feelings.
16. We don't need to complicate all the "reasons" behind our emotions. It's much simpler than that. Two categories .. good feelings, bad feelings.
17. Thoughts that bring about good feelings mean you are on the right track. Thoughts that bring about bad feelings means you are not on the right track.
18. Whatever it is you are feeling is a perfect reflection of what is in the process of becoming.
19. You get exactly what you are FEELING.
20. Happy feelings will attract more happy circumstances.
21. You can begin feeling whatever you want (even if it's not there).. the universe will correspond to the nature of your song.
22. What you focus on with your thought and feeling is what you attract into your experience.
23. What you think and what you feel and what actually manifests is ALWAYS a match - no exception.
24. Shift your awareness.
25. "You create your own universe as you go along" Winston Churchill
26. It's important to feel good ( ( ( (((good))) ) ) )
27. You can change your emotion immediately .. by thinking of something joyful, or singing a song, or remembering a happy experience.
28. When you get the hang of this, before you know it you will KNOW you are the creator.
29. Life can and should be phenomenal .. and it will be when you consciously apply the Law of Attraction.
30. Universe will re-arrange itself accordingly.
31. Start by using this sentence for all of your wants: "I'm so happy and grateful now that…. "
32. You don't need to know HOW the universe is going to rearrange itself.
33. LOA is simply figuring out for yourself what will generate the positive feelings of having it NOW.
34. You might get an inspired thought or idea to help you move towards what you want faster.
35. The universe likes SPEED. Don't delay, don't second-guess, don't doubt..
36. When the opportunity or impulse is there .. ACT
37. You will attract everything you require - money, people, connections.. PAY ATTENTION to what's being set in front of you.
38. You can start with nothing .. and out of nothing or no way - a WAY will be provided.
39. HOW LONG??? No rules on time .. the more aligned you are with positive feelings the quicker things happen.
40. Size is nothing to the universe (unlimited abundance if that's what you wish) We make the rules on size and time.
41. No rules according to the universe .. you provide the feelings of having it now and the universe will respond.
42. Most people offer the majority of their thought in response to what they are observing (bills in the mail, being late, having bad luck…etc..)
43. You have to find a different approach to what is through a different vantage point.
44. "All that we are is a result of what we have thought" - Buddha
45. What can you do right now to turn your life around?? Gratitude.
46. Gratitude will bring more into our lives immediately.
47. What we think about and THANK about is what we bring about.
48. What are the things you are grateful for?? Feel the gratitude.. focus on what you have right now that you are grateful for.
49. Play the picture in your mind - focus on the end result.
50. VISUALIZE!!! Rehearse your future.
51. VISUALIZE!!! See it, feel it! This is where action begins.
52. Feel the joy .. feel the happiness :o )
53. An affirmative thought is 100 times more powerful than a negative one.
54. "What this power is, I cannot say. All I know is that it exists." Alexander Graham Bell.
55. Our job is not to worry about the "How". The "How" will show up out of the commitment and belief in the "what."
56. The Hows are the domain of the universe. It always knows the quickest, fastest, most harmonious way between you and your dream.
57. If you turn it over to the universe, you will be surprised and dazzled by what is delivered .. this is where magic and miracles happen.
58. Turn it over to the universe daily.. but it should never be a chore.
59. Feel exhilarated by the whole process .. high, happy, in tune.
60. The only difference between people who are really living this way is they have habituated ways of being.
61. They remember to do it all the time.
62. Create a Vision Board .. pictures of what you want to attract .. every day look at it and get into the feeling state of
already having acquired these wants.
63. "Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions." Albert Einstein.
64. Decide what you want .. believe you can have it, believe you deserve it, believe it's possible for you.
65. Close your eyes and visualize having what you already want - and the feeling of having it already.
66. Focus on being grateful for what you have already .. enjoy it!! Then release into the universe. The universe will manifest it.
67. "Whatever the mind of man can conceive, it can achieve." W. Clement Stone
68. Set a goal so big that if you achieved it, it would blow your mind.
69. When you have an inspired thought, you must trust it and act on it.
70. How can you become more prosperous?? INTEND IT!!
71. "Checks are coming in the mail regularly"… or change your bank statement to whatever balance you want in there… and get behind the feeling of having it.
72. Life is meant to be abundant in ALL areas.
73. Go for the sense of inner joy and peace then all outside things appear.
74. We are the creators of our universe.
75. Relationships: Treat yourself the way you want to be treated by others .. love yourself and you will be loved.
76. Healthy respect for yourself……
77. For those you work with or interact with regularly .. get a notebook and write down positive aspects of each of those people.
78. Write down the things you like most about them (don't expect change from them). Law of attraction will not put you in the same space together if your frequencies don't match.
79. When you realize your potential to feel good, you will ask no one to be different in order for you to feel good.
80. You will free yourself from the cumbersome impossibilities of needing to control the world, your friends, your mate, your children….
81. You are the only one that creates your reality.
82. No one else can think or feel for you .. its YOU .. ONLY YOU.
83. Health: thank the universe for your own healing. Laugh, stress free happiness will keep you healthy.
84. Immune system will heal itself.
85. Parts of our bodies are replace every day, every week..etc… Within a few years we have a brand new body.
86. See yourself living in a new body. Hopeful = recovery. Happy = happier biochemistry. Stress degrades the body.
87. Remove stress from the body and the body regenerates itself. You can heal yourself.
88. Learn to become still .. and take your attention away from what you don't want, and place your attention on what you wish to experience.
89. When the voice and vision on the inside become more profound and clear than the opinions on the outside, then you
have mastered your life.
90. You are not here to try to get the world to be just as you want it. You are here to create the world around you that you choose.
91. And allow the world as others choose to see it, to exist as well.
92. People think that if everyone knows the power of the LOA there won't be enough to go around. This is a lie that's been ingrained in us and makes so many greedy.
93. The truth is there is more than enough love, creative ideas, power, joy, happiness to go around.
94. All of this abundance begins to shine through a mind that is aware of it's own infinite nature. There's enough for
everyone. See it. Believe it. It will show up for you.
95. So let the variety of your reality thrill you as you choose all the things you want and get behind the good feelings of all your wants.
96. Write your script. When you see things you don't want, don't think about them, write about them, talk about them, push against them, or join groups that focus on them… remove your attention from don't wants.. and instead place them on DO wants.
97. We are mass energy. Everything is energy. EVERYTHING.
98. Don't define yourself by your body .. it's the infinite being that's connected to everything in the universe.
99. One energy field. Our bodies have distracted us from our energy. We are the infinite field of unfolding possibilities. The
creative force.
100. Are your thoughts worthy of you? If not - NOW is the time to change them. You can begin right where you are right now. Nothing matters but this moment and what you are focusing your attention on.
Have an Unforgettable Day!
Adriel Yapana
www.adrielyapana.com
Monday, November 27, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
An Interview...One-On-One with Fitness Professional, Micah Blu
Micah Blu interviewed by Adriel Yapana for Adriel's Attraction Tips eZine which can be subscribed to at www.adrielyapana.com
One-On-One with Fitness Professional, Micah Blu
YAPANA: Micah, I think you're one of the best
trainers at 24 Hour Fitness (Glendale, CA). I know my readers would love
to know more about you and your training philosophy so let's get
right into this interview. Do you have a niche fitness market?
BLU: I try not to categorize myself. I have clients
who want to lose weight, I also train clients who want to gain muscle.
I think it's best to have diversity because that leaves you open to more
opportunities to help people. Of course the bulk of
most clients will want to lose weight, that's the
general population. However, there is a growing niche
that I personally see with my clients and they are
skinny guys who are wanting to add muscle. There are
many training techniques and macro nutrient ratios
that I use to help people on both sides.
YAPANA: What should someone look for in a personal trainer and why?
BLU: I think someone should look for is someone who is
certified and experienced. I think second, and maybe most important
of all, is to look for someone you can tolerate for an
extended amount of time and hopefully enjoy their
company. Any personal training goal, unless it's
minor, is going to take some time, maybe months, so
it's important that you "want" to come to your
appointments. One of the mistakes I see a lot of
trainers make is, there with their clients and they
are not having fun. And nobody wants to go to a place,
especially after a stressful day to another stressful
place. That's not fun. So I try to make it fun. They
should see someone with a personality that's fun.
YAPANA: I often see that attitude from other trainers,
I totally agree with you. I think an enlightening personality is great
and if you can make your clients smile thats even
better. Okay, now back to muscle building. What do you
think makes a good muscle-building program?
BLU: First, if a person is de-conditioned, We have to
address muscle imbalances, work on flexibility and
core stabilization, we will also address joint issues.
Then, if their goal is to put on mass. There are a lot
of techniques that can be used, for the most part it's
going to take a lot of hard work lifting heavy but not
too heavy and allowing your body to adapt to the
overload you also have to eat a sufficient amount of
calories to build and in the right ratio of protein,
carbs and fat.
YAPANA: I think it's definitely important to get on a
good food plan. What you recommend to someone who is trying to muscle build?
BLU: You want to get 1 to 1.5 grams per pound of
bodyweight. And 3 grams of carbohydrate per pound of bodyweight, but
bottom line you have to take in more calories. Let's say a person maintains
their weight at 2500 calories on training days, they
are going to need to take an extra 500 to 1000 more
calories on their those days to build the extra
muscle. Also they have to be clean calories, so
staying away from highly processed foods,( those
having a high glycemic index such as most sweets and
foods that come in a bag like chips, also fried and
greasy foods should be avoided.
YAPANA: What type of equipment do you like to use on
your one-on-one training workouts?
BLU: Again, depending on their goal. There's a really
huge range of exercises. I like to mix it up
including exercises like jump roping and cable
machines, tube resistance and Free weights. I also
like to incorporate less common styles like
plyometrics and pilates.
YAPANA: If you give someone advice, the general
population, a kick-start a healthier lifestyle, what advice would you gives them?
BLU: The first step is they need to make changes to
their diets. By eating better they can feed their bodies the proper
fuels to start with. Once you get those changes, maybe start out with some
cardio. I do recommend that if you have never worked out before, do
meet with a personal trainer just to learn some basics and make
sure your performing the exercise in proper form and
to make sure you don't put yourself at risk of injury,
Also you don't want to plant bad habits from the
get-go. If you can't afford a personal trainer,
usually most places like 24 Hour Fitness will let you
meet with a personal trainer, one session free as a
general introduction and if that's out of the
question, try to find someone you know who knows there
way around and buddy up with them.
YAPANA: One last question before we wrap this up. What
goes through your mind when training a client?
BLU: I'm constantly watching my client's bodies and
also their faces, to see how there reacting to the
training. I always want to make sure they aren't in
bad form or putting themselves at risk. At the same
time I'm constantly gauging rather or not they are
being challenged because they definitely need to be!
YAPANA: Micah, I think you are a superior trainer and
I want to thank you for taking the time to do this interview. How can
my readers contact you and learn more about your services?
BLU: It was my pleasure Adriel. Your readers can reach
my by email at micahblu@yahoo.com or go to my my space page at:
www.myspace.com/micahblu
Since I receive a ton of e-mails, please title your
message "ADRIEL'S NEWSLETTER". I will respond to those
promptly.
YAPANA: Wonderful. Thanks again for your time.
One-On-One with Fitness Professional, Micah Blu
YAPANA: Micah, I think you're one of the best
trainers at 24 Hour Fitness (Glendale, CA). I know my readers would love
to know more about you and your training philosophy so let's get
right into this interview. Do you have a niche fitness market?
BLU: I try not to categorize myself. I have clients
who want to lose weight, I also train clients who want to gain muscle.
I think it's best to have diversity because that leaves you open to more
opportunities to help people. Of course the bulk of
most clients will want to lose weight, that's the
general population. However, there is a growing niche
that I personally see with my clients and they are
skinny guys who are wanting to add muscle. There are
many training techniques and macro nutrient ratios
that I use to help people on both sides.
YAPANA: What should someone look for in a personal trainer and why?
BLU: I think someone should look for is someone who is
certified and experienced. I think second, and maybe most important
of all, is to look for someone you can tolerate for an
extended amount of time and hopefully enjoy their
company. Any personal training goal, unless it's
minor, is going to take some time, maybe months, so
it's important that you "want" to come to your
appointments. One of the mistakes I see a lot of
trainers make is, there with their clients and they
are not having fun. And nobody wants to go to a place,
especially after a stressful day to another stressful
place. That's not fun. So I try to make it fun. They
should see someone with a personality that's fun.
YAPANA: I often see that attitude from other trainers,
I totally agree with you. I think an enlightening personality is great
and if you can make your clients smile thats even
better. Okay, now back to muscle building. What do you
think makes a good muscle-building program?
BLU: First, if a person is de-conditioned, We have to
address muscle imbalances, work on flexibility and
core stabilization, we will also address joint issues.
Then, if their goal is to put on mass. There are a lot
of techniques that can be used, for the most part it's
going to take a lot of hard work lifting heavy but not
too heavy and allowing your body to adapt to the
overload you also have to eat a sufficient amount of
calories to build and in the right ratio of protein,
carbs and fat.
YAPANA: I think it's definitely important to get on a
good food plan. What you recommend to someone who is trying to muscle build?
BLU: You want to get 1 to 1.5 grams per pound of
bodyweight. And 3 grams of carbohydrate per pound of bodyweight, but
bottom line you have to take in more calories. Let's say a person maintains
their weight at 2500 calories on training days, they
are going to need to take an extra 500 to 1000 more
calories on their those days to build the extra
muscle. Also they have to be clean calories, so
staying away from highly processed foods,( those
having a high glycemic index such as most sweets and
foods that come in a bag like chips, also fried and
greasy foods should be avoided.
YAPANA: What type of equipment do you like to use on
your one-on-one training workouts?
BLU: Again, depending on their goal. There's a really
huge range of exercises. I like to mix it up
including exercises like jump roping and cable
machines, tube resistance and Free weights. I also
like to incorporate less common styles like
plyometrics and pilates.
YAPANA: If you give someone advice, the general
population, a kick-start a healthier lifestyle, what advice would you gives them?
BLU: The first step is they need to make changes to
their diets. By eating better they can feed their bodies the proper
fuels to start with. Once you get those changes, maybe start out with some
cardio. I do recommend that if you have never worked out before, do
meet with a personal trainer just to learn some basics and make
sure your performing the exercise in proper form and
to make sure you don't put yourself at risk of injury,
Also you don't want to plant bad habits from the
get-go. If you can't afford a personal trainer,
usually most places like 24 Hour Fitness will let you
meet with a personal trainer, one session free as a
general introduction and if that's out of the
question, try to find someone you know who knows there
way around and buddy up with them.
YAPANA: One last question before we wrap this up. What
goes through your mind when training a client?
BLU: I'm constantly watching my client's bodies and
also their faces, to see how there reacting to the
training. I always want to make sure they aren't in
bad form or putting themselves at risk. At the same
time I'm constantly gauging rather or not they are
being challenged because they definitely need to be!
YAPANA: Micah, I think you are a superior trainer and
I want to thank you for taking the time to do this interview. How can
my readers contact you and learn more about your services?
BLU: It was my pleasure Adriel. Your readers can reach
my by email at micahblu@yahoo.com or go to my my space page at:
www.myspace.com/micahblu
Since I receive a ton of e-mails, please title your
message "ADRIEL'S NEWSLETTER". I will respond to those
promptly.
YAPANA: Wonderful. Thanks again for your time.
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Discover the one key you will ever need for creating dramatic results...
Hey Friends,
Just wanted to pass this along. This is part 2 talking about the "The Secret" on Larry King Live.
If a person would keep watching it over and over again they will reprogram their mind!
This movie ROCKS!!
*****
CNN LARRY KING LIVE
The Power of Positive Thinking
Aired November 16, 2006 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
LARRY KING, CNN HOST (voice-over): Tonight, want to find true love, make more money, have the life of your dreams? Then think about it. That's right. The power of your thoughts can improve your life. Sound unthinkable? Well, science says there's something to it, so engage your brain for an amazing hour that could transform your world and help you live happily ever after.
It's all next on LARRY KING LIVE.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: Welcome to the second in our series of how to go beyond the power of positive thinking and use it to change your life. Since last week's show was such a success, we decided to dive right back into the topic tonight with a different set of guests. They'll tell us how we can use the power of your imagination and mind to create what we want in our lives and how science supports it.
Our guests are: James Ray, President and CEO of James Ray International, a multimillion dollar corporation dedicated to teaching individuals to create wealth in all areas of their lives. That's financially, relation wise, intellectually, physically and spiritually.
Jack Canfield, the famed originator of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series of books. It sold over 100 million copies. Jack was one of the earliest champions of peak performance. And, he's the co- author of "Dare to Win, the Power of Focus," and his latest, "The Success Principles, how to get from where you are to where you want to be."
Dr. Joe Vitale is president of Hypnotic Marketing, Inc. and the founder and president of the Hypnotic Marketing Institute. Joe is also an ordained minister, a certified metaphysical practitioner and a certified hypnotherapist.
Dr. George Pratt, chairman of psychology at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, California and co-author of "Instant Emotional Healing."
And, finally, Jayne Payne therapist, social worker and licensed chemical dependence counselor.
We begin with James Ray. What is the law of attraction? JAKMES RAY, CEO, JAMES RAY INTERNATIONAL: Well, Larry, science tells us that every single thing that appears to be solid is actually energy. Your body is energy. Your car is energy, your house, everything, money, all of it is energy.
You put it under a high-powered microscope it's nothing more than a field of energy and a rate of vibration and like vibrations are attracted to each other and dissimilar vibrations repel. So, the law of attraction says when you're in a certain vibration you're going to attract to you that which you're in vibration or harmonic vibration with.
KING: Jack Canfield, do you accept that?
JACK CANFIELD, ORIGINATOR OF "CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL" SERIES: Yes, I just basically say the law of attraction says like attracts like. So, if you want to be successful you need to come from a place of vibrating that you're successful. You need to be thinking about the successes you already have.
If you want to attract more money you need to be thinking abundantly, so even though you might only be making $40,000 a year you want to be focusing on your gratitude for that coming from a state of abundance.
And then what happens is you'll attract more abundance to you. If you're talking all the time about what you don't want or how bad it is, then what you're going to attract is more how bad it is.
KING: Is this science, Joe?
JOE VITALE, HYPNOTIC MARKETING INSTITUTE: It sure is on a fundamental level whatever you focus on you get more of. If you're focusing on lack, you're going to get more lack. If you focus on abundance, you're going to get more abundance.
I tell people find something in your life right now to be grateful for because at that point you will start to attract more things to be grateful for. It's absolutely workable, testable science.
KING: Can you really, Dr. Pratt, make your own happiness? I mean let's say you go downstairs and your car has just been hit. You can't be happy that minute.
DR. GEORGE PRATT, SCRIPPS MEMORIAL HOSPITAL: You can't control external circumstances. All you can do is balance yourself so that if something traumatic happened we want to teach people how to balance themselves very rapidly. So, shifting it to the positive allows you to actually change your life.
KING: Jayne, you deal in chemical dependency, right?
JAYNE PAYNE, THERAPIST: Yes.
KING: How can you do this if you're depressed? PAYNE: Well depression...
KING: Bipolar.
PAYNE: Bipolar, bipolar is a phenomena that has long been said it needs medication and I'm not going to argue with that. However, they have done scientific research that shows that depression is anger turned inward. And, anger usually come from unresolved issues.
And so, what I like to do with someone that comes to me that's depressed, I tell them "Focus on the point of reference in your life that's positive and look at what caused that positive effect." And then they have something tangible to work with.
KING: James are we always all day long attracted or not attracted to things? Is this a constant "I like that, I don't like this, I want this, I don't want that?"
RAY: We are. I mean we're consistently attracting. I mean every single thing you have in your life right now you're either in resonance with it or, if it's not in your life, you're not in resonance with it.
If you want to create anything you want, anything you desire, you have to practice what I call going three for three. Your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions all need to be firing simultaneously and in alignment. When you go three for three, you're absolutely unstoppable. You can create anything you want.
KING: Jack, do we create our own positive negatives?
CANFIELD: I do believe that. I think we're constantly creating whatever comes into our life and if you focus on what you want, as Joe said earlier, you get what you want. If you focus on what you don't want, you get more of that.
And we often think we're focusing on something like saying "I don't want to be overweight anymore." But what we're focusing on is overweight anymore. So, we have to state it in a more positive way.
And when we do that what happens is our mind and our emotions follow our thoughts and then our behaviors follow our emotions. I choose to make myself happy. Abraham Lincoln said back in 1865 happiness is a choice and the fact is it really is.
KING: True, Joe, if your house burns down it's how you react to your house burning down?
VITALE: No, I'm going to disagree with a couple of the things said here.
KING: Good.
VITALE: Oh, you like this. Well, I'm going to disagree because I believe that you are attracting everything, every little thing, the car accident, everything that you could name but we're doing it on an unconscious level. We're not aware of it.
KING: I attracted my own car accident?
VITALE: You absolutely did. We are attracting everything unconsciously. That's why we have to read the books, like Jack's books or Jayne's books or my books so that we can begin to wake up.
We can begin to take conscious control of what we've been doing unconsciously. At this point, we want to start looking at why did I attract it? Yes, you can put a positive spin on why you attracted it but I'm saying you did attract it.
KING: What, Dr. Pratt, is the law of vibration?
PRATT: The law of vibration is -- reflects a certain harmony or being in sync with something. You've heard of that phrase, "You're on my frequency." Everything has a frequency and, if we go to super string theory, everything is little vibrating packets of energy. So, we have a frequency.
KING: Let me get a break.
Up next, you can't get what you want in life until you know what you want in life. We've got some simple advice that can help you put together your personal wish list when LARRY KING LIVE continues.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RAY: The universe states, there's a law in your universe that says the more you give the more you get or receive. This is true in your finances, no or yes?
I really wasn't a great student in school. I was one of those individuals who always wanted to get out and do something.
Let me tell you something about real wealth. We're going to discuss that a lot this evening because I can guarantee you this. You might go after the money and get rich. It doesn't mean you're going to be wealthy.
I got hit head on by a car in the late '90s and it just totally changed my life, late '80s I should say. It just totally changed my life because I had to step back and realize that, you know, the physical body could be taken out in an instant.
And so I started looking at things a lot differently. It was a real significant emotional event for me.
Your one purpose on this planet, one purpose on this planet, is to grow. That's it.
There's never been a time in my life where I didn't feel like the most important thing was to understand the laws of the universe and how things worked and how they applied to body, mind, and spirit.
You see I've been talking about quantum physics for over a decade and most people in the audience have drool running. They're like what? And now, now people are opening their minds.
And what I realize is that no matter where you are in life challenges are a part of life and to think otherwise is illusion. It really is. You know we always have challenges in life and the bigger the game you play, the bigger the challenges.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RAY: Every great tradition has told you that you were created in the image and the likeness of the creative source. That means that you have got potential and power to create your world and you are. You are. And maybe you've created things to this point that are wonderful and worthy of you and maybe you haven't.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: Jayne Payne, are you agreeing with what's been said so far?
PAYNE: Yes. One of the interesting things I found working with clients that come to me, usually I get clients that aren't manifesting what they want in their life. That's why they're seeing me.
And one of the things I look at is they're operating out of unresolved issues, particularly of abandonment. And so once I work through the grief process of those issues, what I find is a lot of people the reason they're not attracting what they want in their life is they're operating out of need.
If they'd operate out of want and desire, then they would get what they want. So, I talk about and I have them focus a lot of desire, belief, and then expect it to happen.
KING: Jack Canfield, how do we find out what we want in life? That may sound ridiculous but a lot of people probably don't know.
CANFIELD: Well, there are a number of ways but one of the ways that I like to start with my clients is what I call create an irritation list. Go through your house, your apartment, your office, your garage, list down everything that isn't exactly the way you want it and that tells you what you're not satisfied with.
Now you take it from that level to what she was just talking about and turn it into the vision of what you would like to have. I want that door to close without it slamming. I want the picture not to do this. I want it to be straight, you know. I want my people in my office to be positive.
KING: Some people might take a month with an irritation list.
CANFIELD: Well, you know, usually about two hours you can get it done. Then you go through and you create the opposite so you know what you want. And then what you have to do is schedule time to go ahead and do it.
Like I say if you take a weekend and just handle all the little things and why is this important? Most of us are talking about our big vision, our big goals, world peace, things like that, becoming a millionaire.
But, if you don't handle the little irritations and you settle for them what happens is you go into subtle resignation, "I can't have what I want" and you have to numb out your awareness to see it. And then you numb out that little kid inside that says "Wow, I can have everything."
KING: Joe, how do you clear out negative self talk?
VITALE: One of my favorites is to become a loving detective of your own mental activity. So, in other words, thoughts are going through our brains right now. They're going through yours. They're going through mine. They're going through your listeners, the watchers, all of this.
Some are positive. Some are negative. What you want to do is start to notice which ones are the ones that make you feel good and you want to reach for the thoughts that feel good. You start to go in the direction of having more of those.
And, going back to my earlier statement fundamental law and psychology you get more of whatever you focus on. Focus on the positive thoughts and those negative ones are going to start to drop away or you won't pay attention to them as much.
KING: In a moment, we'll take a question from the audience.
But, James, what are the five areas you focus on?
RAY: I've coined something I call harmonic wealth and harmonic wealth has five key pillars, financial, relational, intellectual, physical, and spiritual. You see I talk to people all the time who have one, two, maybe three of those and they still feel unfulfilled. A true state of wealth is a state of harmonic wealth and when you're there you're really, really wealthy.
KING: Let's take a question from members of our studio audience who are with us today. Let's go to C.J. Minster (ph) -- C.J.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Thank you. In light of the general inflexibility in the U.S. workforce how is it possible to plan for a family while planning your career path?
KING: Who wants to grab that?
CANFIELD: Well I think the underlying assumption is what we call either/or. I can either have this family or I can have work. And, if you take the position you can have both and make that your goal, make that your vision, start visualizing that that's what you want, believing you can have it, creating the vibration of what it would be like imagining having a perfect integrated life of fulfillment at work and fulfillment at home.
And, if you do that, then what will happen is your unconscious will begin to come up with the ideas, the ways to create that. You'll attract to you the work opportunities, the resources, the right boss, whatever it is to do that. So the main thing is the assumption is wrong.
KING: Do all of you agree with the concept of visualization?
CANFIELD: Yes.
VITALE: Absolutely. That's a powerful thing.
CANFIELD: The mind thinks in pictures.
VITALE: I would add to it though, I don't think visualization by itself is quite enough that a lot of people are using mental imagery and they are getting some results, not always the results that they want, not always as fast as they want.
I have written about this. I have said that you have to add feeling to it. So, in other words, when you're visualizing that you're in this new car or in your Maui home or whatever it happens to be, you don't just see the picture of it and you don't see just you in the picture.
You see yourself experiencing it as if it's right now. You feel it. You see it. You live it. When you do that you accelerate the manifestation process. You go way beyond positive thinking.
KING: What's a positive affirmation, Jayne.
PAYNE: A positive affirmation is something that you usually tell yourself every day and I usually do it visually with my clients. I have them do poster boards and I have them map out where they want to go.
And I have them actually physically cut out pictures and I put them on the board, have them put them on the board and they look at them daily and they affirm to themselves daily. "This is what I want. This is where I'm going to go." And then I have them take it a step further. I have them take it to where what will it feel like when you get there?
CANFIELD: Kids do this naturally. My son when he wanted a surfboard all of a sudden his whole wall was covered with surfboard pictures.
VITALE: Yes. Yes.
CANFIELD: They naturally do this. And then somehow we get talked out of it as we grow up as adults and we stop doing it.
PRATT: Besides adding the emotion which is so important to add all five sensory channels is extremely powerful. We know this from the Soviet studies on enhanced performance. The brain can't really tell the difference between a real event and a highly-imaged experience.
KING: Coming up -- let me get a break and we'll be right back. Unlucky in love, our panel has some great advice on how to trade Mr. Wrong for Mr. Right or Ms. Wrong for Ms. Right when LARRY KING LIVE continues.
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CANFIELD: Events plus responses equal outcomes and if you don't get the outcomes you want it's because you haven't responded correctly to the events that have occurred up until that time.
My mom and my dad got divorced when I was six and so I settled in Wheeling, West Virginia, grew up in a kind of a normal lower middle class life.
Then you have to be willing to ask yourself, "What am I willing to sacrifice in terms of time, effort, resources, money, et cetera, in order to achieve those goals?"
And it was in Chicago that I met this man named W. Clement Stone, who was a self-made multi-millionaire and he was worth $600 million and he took me under his wing and basically said to me, "If you'll teach these success principles to others, I'll teach them to you."
And that's really what I see, the kind of work I do which is we remove the block so the natural essence of who you are comes forward without effort. In fact, it gets easier.
Yes, I think one of the key principles of success is never give up. You have to persevere, called consistent persistence, and the best example would be "Chicken Soup for the Soul." When we went to sell that book we were rejected by every major publisher in New York, all 22 of the big ones.
And the key there is that over 14 months of rejections from the time we started in New York until we finally got a publisher and the message is never give up on your dreams because if we'd stopped after 100 and said "Well obviously this isn't supposed to happen," I wouldn't be sitting here today.
And what I found in life is if you ask people to support you, nine times out of ten they will.
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I live in a $4.5 million mansion. I have a wife to die for. I get to vacation in all the fabulous spots of the world. I have climbed mountains. I have explored. I've been on safaris. And all of this happens and continues to happen because of knowing how to apply the message in The Secret DVD.
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KING: We're back with our panel. The importance of learning to love yourself first, James, before you love anybody is that true? If you don't love yourself, you can't love anybody else?
RAY: It's absolutely true, Larry. You see I travel all around the world and the whole concept of soul mate is often inherently flawed because it says that your completion or your better half resides outside yourself.
Intellectually we know better than that. I mean your completion doesn't reside outside yourself. Your completion resides inside yourself. You will never, ever attract a perfect relationship with another human being into your life until you first and foremost have a perfect relationship with yourself.
KING: Why, Jack, in life probably the hardest thing is maintaining a happy relationship?
CANFIELD: Well because we tend to project the unexpressed parts of ourself, the unaccepted parts of ourself out onto the other person and we keep trying to get them to change so that we'll be happy.
And really what the value of a relationship is, is to reflect back and mirror back to us the parts of ourself we haven't integrated love in order to express fully.
So, if we learn that then we can create a great relationship so that when my wife, I, you know, "is making me angry," I really look inside and say "Well what is it about me that I'm rejecting in her that I need to clean up?" And if I can do that, then the relationship becomes a fabulous place to grow and a fabulous place for fulfillment.
KING: Are you in trouble, Joe, if your emotional happiness is dependent on someone else?
VITALE: Yes, absolutely. In fact, if you're trying to go beyond positive thinking, you're trying to manifest anything and you're sending out these negative energies about addiction, about obsession, about emotional need then that's what you're going to get more of and you will have a very fractured relationship that is not going to last.
KING: Dr. Pratt, the importance of healing after a relationship ends before a new one starts.
PRATT: Essential, people (INAUDIBLE).
KING: Can't go from one to the other?
PRATT: No. You need a little time to heal, to learn about yourself and understand what happened in the relationship. And, if you're having a problem with somebody unless there is some pretty other serious circumstances, there is a mirror there so those -- you have learned something about yourself in the process.
KING: Why do people keep dating the same or being involved with the same kind of person that hurt him before?
PAYNE: Yes, that's a good one because dealing with addictions, one of the biggest causes of relapse in addictions, by the way, is relationship issues. And, the bottom line is, is at the point of abandonment it begins a loss of our identity. And what happens is then we spend the rest of our time trying to look for that missing piece and we look for it in others. And the bottom line is it's not in others, it's in ourselves.
KING: We have an audience question from Alexandra Goldman -- Alexandra.
ALEXANDRA GOLDMAN: My question is how do you maintain a successful love relationship while growing as an individual when people so often grow apart?
KING: James.
RAY: Well, one of the things that I suggest you do is sit down with your mate and talk about where you're going and what's important to you in your relationship. Once you do that then you can take steps together to begin moving in that direction.
KING: What about relationship addictions, doctor?
PRATT: You can become addicted to anything. That's when you find some fulfillment or you get a release of dopamine or some other neuro chemical when you're around them. It creates a high. And that the absence of that puts you into a state of deprivation.
KING: Joe, can you hypnotize yourself out of a bad relationship?
VITALE: That's an interesting question.
KING: Say you're in love, you're hung up and it's going nowhere and you want to get out but you can't get out.
VITALE: Oh, you can always get out. Your hypnotized yourself into it actually. You know you're talking -- yes, so you absolutely did. You know I wrote this whole book, "The Attractor Factor." There's five steps on achieving whatever you want.
But actually since I wrote it, I found that there's only this one step and this one step is, and I can't do it all the time, and I don't know anybody else that can do it all the time, but it cuts through the relationship. It breaks the trance. It fulfills a lot of things we need. Be happy in this moment. Be happy now. This is the point of power. Everything else is in the past or in the future.
KING: Just ahead, positive thinking and your pocketbook. Find out how it can pay off financially when LARRY KING LIVE comes back.
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VITALE: When I was in Dallas, and this would have been in the late '70s, I was virtually, I was not virtually, I was homeless for a short period of time. You don't ever want to be homeless for a single day but I was for a short period of time.
But throughout it all, I was always maintaining my vision, my goal, my focus. I want to be an author. I want to write books. And I would say I would owe it all to the principles that are in the DVD movie "The Secret," the principles I talk about in my books like "The Attractor Factor," and, of course, through never giving up, never giving up the dream, the desire, the hope, that vision and constantly going forward with it.
Because you are the masterpiece of your own life, you are the Michelangelo of your own life. The David that you are sculpting is you.
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VITALE: Well another thing people wonder about is how long is this going to take? How long will it take to manifest the car, the relationship, the money whatever it happens to be?
Well, I don't have any rule book that says it's going to take you 30 minutes or three days or 30 days. I think it's more a matter of you being in alignment with the universe itself.
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KING: We're back on this very special edition of beyond the power of positive thinking. Our guests are James Ray, president and CEO of James Ray International; Jack Canfield, the famed originator of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series; Dr. Joe Vitale, president of the Hypnotic Marketing, Incorporated organization and founder and president of the Hypnotic Marketing Institute; Dr. George Pratt is chairman of psychology at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, California; and Jayne Payne is a therapist, social worker and a licensed chemical dependent counselor.
We're going to talk about money in this segment. James, what's -- explain the power of partnerships.
RAY: Well, I made a decision several years ago, over a decade ago, that really changed my life. I made a decision I wasn't going to spend high quantity time with people I didn't want to be.
KING: This is in the financial area we're discussing.
RAY: Yes. Financially or anyway -- in any area, actually. You know, because I looked around at the people I was hanging out with, and they weren't going the same places I was going, they weren't doing the same things I was doing, they weren't thinking the way I was thinking. So they were holding me back.
So I made a decision to start spending more time with people that were like-minded and moving in the direction I was going. KING: Jack, explain the time management system.
CANFIELD: Well, basically the system is divided into three parts. You divide your days into three kind of days. Focus days, free days and buffer days.
And a focus day is 85 percent of your time is focused on the 20 percent of your life that produces 80 percent of the results. So each of us has something that we do naturally that we would call our core genius. For me it's teaching, speaking, writing, et cetera.
The second kind of day is a free day. It's midnight to midnight with no work related activity. And by that definition, there are some people who haven't had a free day in three years. And what we now know from the studies is the people that take more free days actually end up making more money, because when they're off, that's when the creative ideas come forward, the inspirations for new products, new ideas, new services, new ways to be in the world.
And the third kind of day is a buffer day. And that's when you are doing the things like delegating, preparation. You have to go out there and run around and do your laundry and get all that stuff done.
But the point is, that we do have to have those days. So the key is, you want to have more focus days, more free days and less buffer days. And you want to have your schedule determine what kind of day it is, so you're not just responding to people, you're intentional.
KING: Joe, how do we increase the speed of attaining financial career goals?
VITALE: I think it is a couple of things. One of them is focussing on what you want, being very clear on the amount of money, making sure it's a stretch, but it's still believable.
Another thing is to visualize it with feeling, making sure that that feeling element is there.
And the third is to be taking action, and make sure that you're acting on the ideas. Because when your stated intention is that you want to have so much money, and start to take action for it, you will start to go in that direction. You'll start to have ideas, but your bargain is you have to act on those ideas or nothing will get done.
KING: Doctor, is a personal coach a good idea?
PRATT: I think we all need coaching. And I think we can all benefit from learning in new ways.
I know that when you're thinking about coaching or using others as resources, even in the financial area, new ideas can present some very interesting opportunities.
KING: Go ahead. I want to get an audience question, but go ahead, Joe. VITALE: OK, I just wanted to -- you asked about coaching. I want to point out how important it is to have a coach, because most of us are thinking within this little ball and nest of beliefs. We don't know what the beliefs are because they are what we think all the time. Somebody else, a coach on the outside can listen to you and feedback to you what your own thoughts are.
KING: An objective.
VITALE: Objective person, yes.
KING: We have a question in the audience from Rob Christie (ph) -- Rob.
QUESTION: Hi.
Thank you, everybody.
I'm a single man with a single income, and I love my job. I love what I do. But it puts me at a certain financial level, and are there any actual steps that you can recommend to help me obtain my goal of buying a house and, more importantly, buying a house where I want to live, which is at the beach?
KING: James, is he thinking out of bounds?
RAY: Well, you know, it really depends. You've got to get really clear. If that house is what you want, then you've got to, again, think, feel and act as if you are going to get that house. You've got to take the action.
You know, I've worked with several individuals who couldn't come up with the money for the down payment, but they went ahead and took the action towards it, and by and large, they attracted $100,000, $20,000 here, $10,000 here from their friends and family. And they bought the home.
So you've got to take that action. You've got to move forward, thinking, feeling, acting and knowing that you can do that. And you can make it happen. You really can.
CANFIELD: My mentor was a man named W. Clement Stone, who worth $600 million when I worked for him. And he taught me this principle. And I was a teacher in Chicago making $8,000 a year. And I took a course with him. And he said I want you to set a goal that's so big that if you achieve it, you'll know it's because of what I'm teaching you.
So I set a goal to make $100,000 in one year. Now, you know,they don't pay you more to become a good teacher. So I had no idea how I was going to do that, but I visualized it, I had an affirmation, I felt the feelings, I saw myself living in this $100,000 lifestyle.
And to make a long story short, what happened was I started getting ideas. I would be in the shower and this inspiration would come, hey, you have a book. It gets 25 cents royalty every time it gets sold. If you sell 400,000 copies of that book, you'd make $100,000.
Now, I didn't know how to do that. My publisher didn't know how to do that. But I started visualizing 400,000 book copies sold. And what changed it was my wife said one day that if we were a bookstore, we would make three dollars a book, then we'd only have to sell 33,000 copies. And by the end of the year we had a mail-order bookstore with 32 different books and tapes and we made $92,328. And I was still a teacher making $8,000, which gives me what?
A $100,000 a year income.
VITALE: Get the house.
KING: We'll take a break and be back with more.
Still to come, the keys to using emotional awareness to control your physical health.
Don't go away.
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PAYNE: Relationship addictions are a loss of one's self that occurs when abandonment occurs. And what happens at the point of abandonment, when we're given messages, because we are sexual beings, we're given messages that say, you're not OK as a girl, you're not OK as a boy. And we grow up feeling that we're not OK as sexual beings, so what we do is we try to get those two parts to come together by getting into constant relationships over and over and over again.
And so when those don't work, we eventually end up finally grieving the loss of the abandonment and we stop abandoning ourselves.
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RAY: How can you ever expect anyone else to enjoy your company if you don't enjoy your own company? And so, again, the Law of Attraction, or the secret is about bringing that into your life. And you've got to get really, really clear.
Here's a question I want to ask you to consider. Do you treat yourself the way that you want other people to treat you?
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KING: We're back. Jayne Payne, how do we change habits?
PAYNE: One of the ways to change habits is first become aware you have one. And that's where the outside coaching comes in. And usually people that have habits that are not working for them in their lives will end up in some form of therapy or end up in some kind abusive relationships or getting negative responses.
KING: This panel is not against therapy, is it? UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Not at all.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Not at all. I think works.
PAYNE: It works together...
KING: How do you cure an addiction, George?
PRATT: Well, you get to the source of it. You support. You change your thinking. You make decisions, you write goals, you go to some kind of 12 step group and you apply the self-calming techniques that are available in a number of resources.
KING: Jayne, explain your intensive grief weekends.
PAYNE: OK. The grief weekends are a weekend where people come and they go down to the very core issue, the very bottom line of why they aren't accomplishing what they want to accomplish in life.
And we work through it, through the grieving process. And at the end, we have a funeral. We bury it. And therefore it is no more. And I always get to the point where we talk at the end, if you go within, you never go without.
KING: Are you saying you can think good health?
RAY: You can. You can. You can just as easily think good health as you can think poor health. You've to give your attention to something, Larry. So energy flows where attention goes. If you get up every single morning and you are giving all your attention to how overweight, out of shape and broke you are, then energy is going to flow in that direction.
KING: Yes, but you can't outthink cancer.
RAY: Well, there is a lot of documented cases where there has been complete remission, complete turnaround.
You know, cancer is a process. And your body turns over. We know that in the medical profession, that your body turns over every seven years or less, every cell, every bone, everything. So when you're diagnosed with a cancer, it is a process of cancering yourself. When you stop that process, you can reverse it. And there is plenty of documented cases.
KING: You work with dolphins?
PRATT: Yes. I do seminars in Hawaii. And that includes swimming with dolphins.
KING: What do you do?
PRATT: Well, it is a heck of a lot of fun to begin with. So it is helpful for our own neurochemicals. But an interesting study came out in a British medical journal last fall that in the clinical trials, swimming with dolphins one hour a day for 10 days helped to reset mild to moderate depression, interestingly.
And I also want to say one thing about what you were saying that ties into the dolphins, and that is I want people to -- in the prevention process, to be going through a gratitude list in the shower, 10 things in the morning, to make sure they get at least three laughs during the day, to do some deep breathing and seeing whatever they want to have happen for two minutes a day.
KING: So is there any area of life this doesn't work?
VITALE: What a great question.
KING: That's why I asked it.
VITALE: I'm glad you did. I'm glad you did. You know, I don't know that there are any limits whatsoever. I keep finding out that what we think is a limit doesn't become a limit. Once we start addressing it, we set a goal to go past it. I mean, it is the old four-minute mile, it's about going to the moon, it's about, you know, Larry, I was homeless at one point. I was in poverty for the longest time. I'm now a bit of an Internet celebrity. I have got more books than I can remember that are out there, most of which are best- sellers. Last week, I bought myself one of 300 hand-made luxury sports cars, a Panoz Esperante, and I'm a guy who was homeless 30 some years ago, paying cash for a luxury car.
You can change your life and you can dissolve anything that you think is your limit. Thirty years ago, I would have said, no, I can't get a -- what is a sports car?
KING: Jayne, you put any limit on anything?
PAYNE: No. There are no limits. Our unconscious mind doesn't know anything is not possible. And if you tap into that...
GANFIELD: Let me tell you a really interesting story. This guy named Cliff Young shows up at a race in Australia, 61 years old, he's wearing Oshkosh overalls, a t-shirt, baseball cap, construction boots and galoshes. And it's a six-day run from Sydney to Melbourne, 650 kilometers. All the young guys who are there, these elite runners, and they think this guy is crazy, he can't possibly do this.
So they all take off and they're all running really fast, and Cliff is kind of doing this what they call the Cliff Young shuffle.
And the thing he didn't know, because he had never read a book on racing, he'd never talked to a runner, he just read what was in the paper and wanted to go do it, is that on these long runs, you're supposed to run for 18 hours, sleep for six.
So that night when everyone went to sleep, he was so far behind, no one told him to go to bed. He ran right by everybody and ran nonstop for five and a half days, Larry, and broke the record of that race by 12 hours.
And he came back the next year, everyone was doing the Cliff Young shuffle, and there were 70 people in the race and they all broke records. But he came in number 12 out of 70.
So he didn't know there was a limit. He didn't know you were supposed to do that.
And we're all controlled by what we have been told is possible instead of told as children, anything is possible.
KING: So the old axiom, mind over matter, works?
GANFIELD: Indeed.
KING: When we come back, we'll talk about some of the key steps that can help you find success. We'll be right back.
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PRATT: It has been very interesting over the years. I started in practice, always trying to help people be their best, and that wasn't always the case with psychology in general. Some people were more oriented in different directions. But mine was a more positive approach, which is now popular.
And I will tell you that even though my seminars that I do where we do end up swimming with dolphins in the wild -- we don't bother them, we let them swim by us if they want to -- is what happens to people after the seminar, combination of education and then being in the energetic field with the dolphins, it's pretty phenomenal. People are -- they're strengthened, they're empowered, and they feel like they can do what they need to do. And whether you think you can do something or you can't, you're right. So you might as well focus on the positive.
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GANFIELD: Decide what you want. Believe you can have it. Believe you deserve it. Believe it is possible for you. And then close your eyes every day for several minutes and visualize having what you already want and feeling the feelings of already having it.
Come out of that, and focus on what you're grateful for already. And really be -- enjoy it, OK? And then go into your day and release it to the universe, and trust that the universe will figure out how to manifest it.
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KING: James Ray, you say gratitude is the most powerful force. Does it work?
RAY: It really is. Well, energy flows where attention goes. If you have a relationship, a romantic relationship, and you're grateful and you love him or her, you give them attention, right? If you have children and you love them, you give them attention. Attention equals love.
KING: Why aren't we grateful?
RAY: Most people are in love with their misery, because they're attending to it all the time. It's like a roaring bonfire and they're throwing another log on it every day.
KING: Jack, what...
GANFIELD: Focus on what you're grateful for. What it focuses you on is what you want more in your life. The reason you're grateful is it makes you happy. You're feeling good about it. So by focusing your gratitude on that, as you were saying every morning, you know, go through a gratitude list -- I spend seven minutes every morning writing down what I'm grateful for.
KING: Joe, what is the danger of feeling desperate?
VITALE: You're going to attract more desperation. The energy that you send out is the attractor. This is from my book, "The Attractor Factor." It's got to pull back whatever it is that you're feeling. You're going to get more of it. So if you're feeling desperate, the only thing that you're going to notice, the only thing that you're going to attract are more feelings, thoughts and situations that will make you feel desperate.
KING: Perseverance is very important, right, doc?
PRATT: Perseverance, persistence, developing new habits.
KING: And that can be taught.
PRATT: It can be taught and it can be practiced. And the more you practice it, the better you get.
KING: We have another question from our audience, from Elizabeth Decosta (ph). Elizabeth.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hi, guys. So I've been working the principles and staying positive and all of that. My question is, how do you politely address those around you, whether they're friends or family, who don't support you or are not on the same path and -- well, actually turn down your goals, your dreams and your aspirations? Are you supposed to, like, remove them from your circle, or how do you...
KING: Great question. I will go to Jayne first and then...
PAYNE: The thing that I've found with working with this for many years is once you begin to have that attraction in your life, and once you begin to put that into motion and it begins to happen for you, an amazing thing happens. These things just kind of fall away from your life, because you're no long attracting them. So they kind of resolve themselves. They will just eventually dissipate because you're attracting something new into your life. And when we eliminate something out of our life, we replace it with something else.
KING: James?
RAY: The things we're talking about here, your peer group will change. When you choose to pursue your greatness, you'll represent the courage, in many cases, that other people don't have. And so you've got to be prepared for that.
But it will, as Jayne said, take care of itself. It doesn't mean they're not good people. They're wonderful people, as I believe all people are, but they're not going in the same direction you are.
And so -- you still love them, but I would recommend you don't spend high quantity time with people who aren't in the same mindset.
KING: Jack, what's the importance of responding to feedback?
CANFIELD: Well, basically, I teach that the way to improve is to solicit and respond to feedback. So I teach a question that my wife and I use once a week, and that I teach other people to use. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the quality of our relationship, or how would you rate the quality of this show or this product or service we have?
Anything less than ten gets a follow-up question: what would it take to make it a ten?
So one time I did this with my wife and she said six. And I said, wow what would it take to make it a ten?
She said don't interrupt me when I'm telling a joke because you think you can tell a punchline better. She said your job is to put the kids to bed. I don't care if it is the NBA playoffs, I don't want to have to remind you. You don't remind me to get them up in the morning. She went on with about five or six other things. But now I have five ways I can improve my relationship. Most people don't ask for feedback because they are afraid of what they're going to hear.
KING: What if you disagree?
CANFIELD: You don't have to agree. You don't have to do it. But at least I know what, in her perception, would allow the relationship to go forward.
And here's the other thing. Most people don't ask and the reason is they're afraid to hear it. I say, look, if you don't ask your wife or your children or whatever, they've already -- your wife's already told her mother, her girlfriend, the people at work, the people at the supermarket, the people in the hair salon. You're the only one who doesn't know.
KING: Coming up in our final segment, how to make the start of your day the start of a new life.
Don't go away.
DR. SANJAY GUPTA, CNN MEDICAL CORRESPONDENT: Hello.
I'm Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
If you're enjoying tonight's LARRY KING LIVE, tune in Sunday at 10:00 p.m. I'm going to have an hour long special on the remarkable links between happiness and your health.
You're going to learn about the latest research and how it could help you live a longer and happier life.
I'm also going to tell you why laughter really might be the best medicine.
All of that this Sunday at 10:00 p.m. Eastern.
"Happiness and Your Health: the Surprising Connection."
Meantime, also visit the specials website at CNN.com/happiness.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
KING: We're back.
I want to get some questions in from the audience and wind up from each of our panelists.
Jocelyn McCarthy (ph).
QUESTION: Yes.
Hi, thank you.
My question is how do you manage personal, professional and spiritual life in this demanding society?
RAY: That's harmonic wealth. It really is. You know, I think you -- I think that presupposes that you can't do that. You absolutely can. You absolutely can. You need to make a decision you can. You need to sit down.
I would encourage you to sit down right now and make a list of the five key areas of life, financial, relational, intellectual, physical, spiritual and what exactly you want to create and attract in each of those areas. And then keep your attention on that, regardless of what's going on around you and you'll begin to create it.
KING: And one more from Ron Drescher (ph) and then a follow-up with each of our panelists -- Ron.
QUESTION: All right.
Thank you.
I want to be more happy, spiritual and at peace in my life. How do I get started?
KING: Joe? VITALE: Find things to be grateful for right now. Right in this moment. The fact that you can ask this question, the fact that you are alive, the fact that you're breathing, the fact that you're living wherever you're living.
Find a reason to be grateful, much like you mentioned earlier, with a tear in your eye because it is so genuine for you. Out of that gratitude you will find more things to be grateful for. And out of that gratitude you will find happiness right now.
KING: Jack, explain give more to get more.
CANFIELD: Well, basically, the universe responds. If you give, it comes back to you. We've been talking about giving out vibrations. The vibrations come back. The same is true with money. If I give more money, more money tends to come back in my life.
Every time, Larry, that I've gone and done some kind of volunteer work, something's happened out of that experience where I've met somebody, maybe a bank president, who then hires me to come speak to his company.
It always comes back. So basically, people that are successful -- I mean, you had Donald Trump and Kiyosaki on your program not so long ago. And they're two of the biggest givers I know. And so by giving, they get more back. And I think that it's true for all of us. So givers get.
KING: Dr. Pratt, how do you start a new day to start a new life?
PRATT: Well, I like the gratitude list in the morning. And then doing the two minutes of imagery of the different elements that you want. If you want to change something in your life, make that part of the end result imagery, in terms of balance, spiritually, mentally, physically, et cetera. Make that part of that two-minute imagery, so that you can come back to it, so you're mindful during the day, you're aware of it. And so your attention is continuing to be focussed on it.
KING: Jayne, isn't change the hardest thing?
PAYNE: Actually...
KING: The thing we fear the most.
PAYNE: ... it's the thing that's feared the most.
However, change within itself will happen automatically whether we want it or not. Change goes on every day. It's how we react to the change in our life that determines what the outcome will be.
KING: James, how about world problems and the effect on daily life? You look at an Iraq or you look at hurricanes, North Korea setting off a bomb.
RAY: Right. KING: It's easy to say, I'm not too sure about tomorrow.
RAY: It is. I mean, we have a nation in fear. We have a world in fear because we're bombarded all the time with the things that are going on that appear to be so heinous.
But here's the thing, we live in a dualistic world. The law of polarity says if there's an up, there's a down, if there's an in, there's an out. What that means is if you're in a really challenging situation in your life right now, there's something there that's really amazing about it as well. But you're not putting your attention upon it.
See, when you shift your attention, you being to think about it. During the difficult times in our life, Larry, we learn and grow the most through challenges. Don't wish for an easier life. We wish for greater capability to ease elegantly through life.
KING: Only have a minute or so left.
Do you have bad days, Jack?
CANFIELD: I don't have bad days. I can't say I never had...
KING: You don't have bad days?
CANFIELD: No.
KIND: You have bad days, Joe?
VITALE: Occasionally I have bumps in the road, but I certainly get through them much faster than I used to.
KING: Jayne?
PAYNE: I don't have bad days anymore.
KING: Doctor?
PRATT: Quick recovery with the new techniques.
KING: James?
RAY: I don't have bad days. I have challenges, but challenges are a part of life.
KING: James Ray, Jack Canfield, Dr. Joe Vitale -- George Pratt, Joe Vitale, rather. Dr. George Pratt and Jayne Payne on "Beyond the Power of Positive Thinking."
We hope you found this show illuminating. We'd love to hear your comments about it.
We thank you for joining us.
"AC 360" with Anderson Cooper is next. Good night.
TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.voxant.com
Just wanted to pass this along. This is part 2 talking about the "The Secret" on Larry King Live.
If a person would keep watching it over and over again they will reprogram their mind!
This movie ROCKS!!
*****
CNN LARRY KING LIVE
The Power of Positive Thinking
Aired November 16, 2006 - 21:00 ET
THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
LARRY KING, CNN HOST (voice-over): Tonight, want to find true love, make more money, have the life of your dreams? Then think about it. That's right. The power of your thoughts can improve your life. Sound unthinkable? Well, science says there's something to it, so engage your brain for an amazing hour that could transform your world and help you live happily ever after.
It's all next on LARRY KING LIVE.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: Welcome to the second in our series of how to go beyond the power of positive thinking and use it to change your life. Since last week's show was such a success, we decided to dive right back into the topic tonight with a different set of guests. They'll tell us how we can use the power of your imagination and mind to create what we want in our lives and how science supports it.
Our guests are: James Ray, President and CEO of James Ray International, a multimillion dollar corporation dedicated to teaching individuals to create wealth in all areas of their lives. That's financially, relation wise, intellectually, physically and spiritually.
Jack Canfield, the famed originator of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series of books. It sold over 100 million copies. Jack was one of the earliest champions of peak performance. And, he's the co- author of "Dare to Win, the Power of Focus," and his latest, "The Success Principles, how to get from where you are to where you want to be."
Dr. Joe Vitale is president of Hypnotic Marketing, Inc. and the founder and president of the Hypnotic Marketing Institute. Joe is also an ordained minister, a certified metaphysical practitioner and a certified hypnotherapist.
Dr. George Pratt, chairman of psychology at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, California and co-author of "Instant Emotional Healing."
And, finally, Jayne Payne therapist, social worker and licensed chemical dependence counselor.
We begin with James Ray. What is the law of attraction? JAKMES RAY, CEO, JAMES RAY INTERNATIONAL: Well, Larry, science tells us that every single thing that appears to be solid is actually energy. Your body is energy. Your car is energy, your house, everything, money, all of it is energy.
You put it under a high-powered microscope it's nothing more than a field of energy and a rate of vibration and like vibrations are attracted to each other and dissimilar vibrations repel. So, the law of attraction says when you're in a certain vibration you're going to attract to you that which you're in vibration or harmonic vibration with.
KING: Jack Canfield, do you accept that?
JACK CANFIELD, ORIGINATOR OF "CHICKEN SOUP FOR THE SOUL" SERIES: Yes, I just basically say the law of attraction says like attracts like. So, if you want to be successful you need to come from a place of vibrating that you're successful. You need to be thinking about the successes you already have.
If you want to attract more money you need to be thinking abundantly, so even though you might only be making $40,000 a year you want to be focusing on your gratitude for that coming from a state of abundance.
And then what happens is you'll attract more abundance to you. If you're talking all the time about what you don't want or how bad it is, then what you're going to attract is more how bad it is.
KING: Is this science, Joe?
JOE VITALE, HYPNOTIC MARKETING INSTITUTE: It sure is on a fundamental level whatever you focus on you get more of. If you're focusing on lack, you're going to get more lack. If you focus on abundance, you're going to get more abundance.
I tell people find something in your life right now to be grateful for because at that point you will start to attract more things to be grateful for. It's absolutely workable, testable science.
KING: Can you really, Dr. Pratt, make your own happiness? I mean let's say you go downstairs and your car has just been hit. You can't be happy that minute.
DR. GEORGE PRATT, SCRIPPS MEMORIAL HOSPITAL: You can't control external circumstances. All you can do is balance yourself so that if something traumatic happened we want to teach people how to balance themselves very rapidly. So, shifting it to the positive allows you to actually change your life.
KING: Jayne, you deal in chemical dependency, right?
JAYNE PAYNE, THERAPIST: Yes.
KING: How can you do this if you're depressed? PAYNE: Well depression...
KING: Bipolar.
PAYNE: Bipolar, bipolar is a phenomena that has long been said it needs medication and I'm not going to argue with that. However, they have done scientific research that shows that depression is anger turned inward. And, anger usually come from unresolved issues.
And so, what I like to do with someone that comes to me that's depressed, I tell them "Focus on the point of reference in your life that's positive and look at what caused that positive effect." And then they have something tangible to work with.
KING: James are we always all day long attracted or not attracted to things? Is this a constant "I like that, I don't like this, I want this, I don't want that?"
RAY: We are. I mean we're consistently attracting. I mean every single thing you have in your life right now you're either in resonance with it or, if it's not in your life, you're not in resonance with it.
If you want to create anything you want, anything you desire, you have to practice what I call going three for three. Your thoughts, your feelings, and your actions all need to be firing simultaneously and in alignment. When you go three for three, you're absolutely unstoppable. You can create anything you want.
KING: Jack, do we create our own positive negatives?
CANFIELD: I do believe that. I think we're constantly creating whatever comes into our life and if you focus on what you want, as Joe said earlier, you get what you want. If you focus on what you don't want, you get more of that.
And we often think we're focusing on something like saying "I don't want to be overweight anymore." But what we're focusing on is overweight anymore. So, we have to state it in a more positive way.
And when we do that what happens is our mind and our emotions follow our thoughts and then our behaviors follow our emotions. I choose to make myself happy. Abraham Lincoln said back in 1865 happiness is a choice and the fact is it really is.
KING: True, Joe, if your house burns down it's how you react to your house burning down?
VITALE: No, I'm going to disagree with a couple of the things said here.
KING: Good.
VITALE: Oh, you like this. Well, I'm going to disagree because I believe that you are attracting everything, every little thing, the car accident, everything that you could name but we're doing it on an unconscious level. We're not aware of it.
KING: I attracted my own car accident?
VITALE: You absolutely did. We are attracting everything unconsciously. That's why we have to read the books, like Jack's books or Jayne's books or my books so that we can begin to wake up.
We can begin to take conscious control of what we've been doing unconsciously. At this point, we want to start looking at why did I attract it? Yes, you can put a positive spin on why you attracted it but I'm saying you did attract it.
KING: What, Dr. Pratt, is the law of vibration?
PRATT: The law of vibration is -- reflects a certain harmony or being in sync with something. You've heard of that phrase, "You're on my frequency." Everything has a frequency and, if we go to super string theory, everything is little vibrating packets of energy. So, we have a frequency.
KING: Let me get a break.
Up next, you can't get what you want in life until you know what you want in life. We've got some simple advice that can help you put together your personal wish list when LARRY KING LIVE continues.
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RAY: The universe states, there's a law in your universe that says the more you give the more you get or receive. This is true in your finances, no or yes?
I really wasn't a great student in school. I was one of those individuals who always wanted to get out and do something.
Let me tell you something about real wealth. We're going to discuss that a lot this evening because I can guarantee you this. You might go after the money and get rich. It doesn't mean you're going to be wealthy.
I got hit head on by a car in the late '90s and it just totally changed my life, late '80s I should say. It just totally changed my life because I had to step back and realize that, you know, the physical body could be taken out in an instant.
And so I started looking at things a lot differently. It was a real significant emotional event for me.
Your one purpose on this planet, one purpose on this planet, is to grow. That's it.
There's never been a time in my life where I didn't feel like the most important thing was to understand the laws of the universe and how things worked and how they applied to body, mind, and spirit.
You see I've been talking about quantum physics for over a decade and most people in the audience have drool running. They're like what? And now, now people are opening their minds.
And what I realize is that no matter where you are in life challenges are a part of life and to think otherwise is illusion. It really is. You know we always have challenges in life and the bigger the game you play, the bigger the challenges.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
RAY: Every great tradition has told you that you were created in the image and the likeness of the creative source. That means that you have got potential and power to create your world and you are. You are. And maybe you've created things to this point that are wonderful and worthy of you and maybe you haven't.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: Jayne Payne, are you agreeing with what's been said so far?
PAYNE: Yes. One of the interesting things I found working with clients that come to me, usually I get clients that aren't manifesting what they want in their life. That's why they're seeing me.
And one of the things I look at is they're operating out of unresolved issues, particularly of abandonment. And so once I work through the grief process of those issues, what I find is a lot of people the reason they're not attracting what they want in their life is they're operating out of need.
If they'd operate out of want and desire, then they would get what they want. So, I talk about and I have them focus a lot of desire, belief, and then expect it to happen.
KING: Jack Canfield, how do we find out what we want in life? That may sound ridiculous but a lot of people probably don't know.
CANFIELD: Well, there are a number of ways but one of the ways that I like to start with my clients is what I call create an irritation list. Go through your house, your apartment, your office, your garage, list down everything that isn't exactly the way you want it and that tells you what you're not satisfied with.
Now you take it from that level to what she was just talking about and turn it into the vision of what you would like to have. I want that door to close without it slamming. I want the picture not to do this. I want it to be straight, you know. I want my people in my office to be positive.
KING: Some people might take a month with an irritation list.
CANFIELD: Well, you know, usually about two hours you can get it done. Then you go through and you create the opposite so you know what you want. And then what you have to do is schedule time to go ahead and do it.
Like I say if you take a weekend and just handle all the little things and why is this important? Most of us are talking about our big vision, our big goals, world peace, things like that, becoming a millionaire.
But, if you don't handle the little irritations and you settle for them what happens is you go into subtle resignation, "I can't have what I want" and you have to numb out your awareness to see it. And then you numb out that little kid inside that says "Wow, I can have everything."
KING: Joe, how do you clear out negative self talk?
VITALE: One of my favorites is to become a loving detective of your own mental activity. So, in other words, thoughts are going through our brains right now. They're going through yours. They're going through mine. They're going through your listeners, the watchers, all of this.
Some are positive. Some are negative. What you want to do is start to notice which ones are the ones that make you feel good and you want to reach for the thoughts that feel good. You start to go in the direction of having more of those.
And, going back to my earlier statement fundamental law and psychology you get more of whatever you focus on. Focus on the positive thoughts and those negative ones are going to start to drop away or you won't pay attention to them as much.
KING: In a moment, we'll take a question from the audience.
But, James, what are the five areas you focus on?
RAY: I've coined something I call harmonic wealth and harmonic wealth has five key pillars, financial, relational, intellectual, physical, and spiritual. You see I talk to people all the time who have one, two, maybe three of those and they still feel unfulfilled. A true state of wealth is a state of harmonic wealth and when you're there you're really, really wealthy.
KING: Let's take a question from members of our studio audience who are with us today. Let's go to C.J. Minster (ph) -- C.J.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Thank you. In light of the general inflexibility in the U.S. workforce how is it possible to plan for a family while planning your career path?
KING: Who wants to grab that?
CANFIELD: Well I think the underlying assumption is what we call either/or. I can either have this family or I can have work. And, if you take the position you can have both and make that your goal, make that your vision, start visualizing that that's what you want, believing you can have it, creating the vibration of what it would be like imagining having a perfect integrated life of fulfillment at work and fulfillment at home.
And, if you do that, then what will happen is your unconscious will begin to come up with the ideas, the ways to create that. You'll attract to you the work opportunities, the resources, the right boss, whatever it is to do that. So the main thing is the assumption is wrong.
KING: Do all of you agree with the concept of visualization?
CANFIELD: Yes.
VITALE: Absolutely. That's a powerful thing.
CANFIELD: The mind thinks in pictures.
VITALE: I would add to it though, I don't think visualization by itself is quite enough that a lot of people are using mental imagery and they are getting some results, not always the results that they want, not always as fast as they want.
I have written about this. I have said that you have to add feeling to it. So, in other words, when you're visualizing that you're in this new car or in your Maui home or whatever it happens to be, you don't just see the picture of it and you don't see just you in the picture.
You see yourself experiencing it as if it's right now. You feel it. You see it. You live it. When you do that you accelerate the manifestation process. You go way beyond positive thinking.
KING: What's a positive affirmation, Jayne.
PAYNE: A positive affirmation is something that you usually tell yourself every day and I usually do it visually with my clients. I have them do poster boards and I have them map out where they want to go.
And I have them actually physically cut out pictures and I put them on the board, have them put them on the board and they look at them daily and they affirm to themselves daily. "This is what I want. This is where I'm going to go." And then I have them take it a step further. I have them take it to where what will it feel like when you get there?
CANFIELD: Kids do this naturally. My son when he wanted a surfboard all of a sudden his whole wall was covered with surfboard pictures.
VITALE: Yes. Yes.
CANFIELD: They naturally do this. And then somehow we get talked out of it as we grow up as adults and we stop doing it.
PRATT: Besides adding the emotion which is so important to add all five sensory channels is extremely powerful. We know this from the Soviet studies on enhanced performance. The brain can't really tell the difference between a real event and a highly-imaged experience.
KING: Coming up -- let me get a break and we'll be right back. Unlucky in love, our panel has some great advice on how to trade Mr. Wrong for Mr. Right or Ms. Wrong for Ms. Right when LARRY KING LIVE continues.
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CANFIELD: Events plus responses equal outcomes and if you don't get the outcomes you want it's because you haven't responded correctly to the events that have occurred up until that time.
My mom and my dad got divorced when I was six and so I settled in Wheeling, West Virginia, grew up in a kind of a normal lower middle class life.
Then you have to be willing to ask yourself, "What am I willing to sacrifice in terms of time, effort, resources, money, et cetera, in order to achieve those goals?"
And it was in Chicago that I met this man named W. Clement Stone, who was a self-made multi-millionaire and he was worth $600 million and he took me under his wing and basically said to me, "If you'll teach these success principles to others, I'll teach them to you."
And that's really what I see, the kind of work I do which is we remove the block so the natural essence of who you are comes forward without effort. In fact, it gets easier.
Yes, I think one of the key principles of success is never give up. You have to persevere, called consistent persistence, and the best example would be "Chicken Soup for the Soul." When we went to sell that book we were rejected by every major publisher in New York, all 22 of the big ones.
And the key there is that over 14 months of rejections from the time we started in New York until we finally got a publisher and the message is never give up on your dreams because if we'd stopped after 100 and said "Well obviously this isn't supposed to happen," I wouldn't be sitting here today.
And what I found in life is if you ask people to support you, nine times out of ten they will.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
I live in a $4.5 million mansion. I have a wife to die for. I get to vacation in all the fabulous spots of the world. I have climbed mountains. I have explored. I've been on safaris. And all of this happens and continues to happen because of knowing how to apply the message in The Secret DVD.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: We're back with our panel. The importance of learning to love yourself first, James, before you love anybody is that true? If you don't love yourself, you can't love anybody else?
RAY: It's absolutely true, Larry. You see I travel all around the world and the whole concept of soul mate is often inherently flawed because it says that your completion or your better half resides outside yourself.
Intellectually we know better than that. I mean your completion doesn't reside outside yourself. Your completion resides inside yourself. You will never, ever attract a perfect relationship with another human being into your life until you first and foremost have a perfect relationship with yourself.
KING: Why, Jack, in life probably the hardest thing is maintaining a happy relationship?
CANFIELD: Well because we tend to project the unexpressed parts of ourself, the unaccepted parts of ourself out onto the other person and we keep trying to get them to change so that we'll be happy.
And really what the value of a relationship is, is to reflect back and mirror back to us the parts of ourself we haven't integrated love in order to express fully.
So, if we learn that then we can create a great relationship so that when my wife, I, you know, "is making me angry," I really look inside and say "Well what is it about me that I'm rejecting in her that I need to clean up?" And if I can do that, then the relationship becomes a fabulous place to grow and a fabulous place for fulfillment.
KING: Are you in trouble, Joe, if your emotional happiness is dependent on someone else?
VITALE: Yes, absolutely. In fact, if you're trying to go beyond positive thinking, you're trying to manifest anything and you're sending out these negative energies about addiction, about obsession, about emotional need then that's what you're going to get more of and you will have a very fractured relationship that is not going to last.
KING: Dr. Pratt, the importance of healing after a relationship ends before a new one starts.
PRATT: Essential, people (INAUDIBLE).
KING: Can't go from one to the other?
PRATT: No. You need a little time to heal, to learn about yourself and understand what happened in the relationship. And, if you're having a problem with somebody unless there is some pretty other serious circumstances, there is a mirror there so those -- you have learned something about yourself in the process.
KING: Why do people keep dating the same or being involved with the same kind of person that hurt him before?
PAYNE: Yes, that's a good one because dealing with addictions, one of the biggest causes of relapse in addictions, by the way, is relationship issues. And, the bottom line is, is at the point of abandonment it begins a loss of our identity. And what happens is then we spend the rest of our time trying to look for that missing piece and we look for it in others. And the bottom line is it's not in others, it's in ourselves.
KING: We have an audience question from Alexandra Goldman -- Alexandra.
ALEXANDRA GOLDMAN: My question is how do you maintain a successful love relationship while growing as an individual when people so often grow apart?
KING: James.
RAY: Well, one of the things that I suggest you do is sit down with your mate and talk about where you're going and what's important to you in your relationship. Once you do that then you can take steps together to begin moving in that direction.
KING: What about relationship addictions, doctor?
PRATT: You can become addicted to anything. That's when you find some fulfillment or you get a release of dopamine or some other neuro chemical when you're around them. It creates a high. And that the absence of that puts you into a state of deprivation.
KING: Joe, can you hypnotize yourself out of a bad relationship?
VITALE: That's an interesting question.
KING: Say you're in love, you're hung up and it's going nowhere and you want to get out but you can't get out.
VITALE: Oh, you can always get out. Your hypnotized yourself into it actually. You know you're talking -- yes, so you absolutely did. You know I wrote this whole book, "The Attractor Factor." There's five steps on achieving whatever you want.
But actually since I wrote it, I found that there's only this one step and this one step is, and I can't do it all the time, and I don't know anybody else that can do it all the time, but it cuts through the relationship. It breaks the trance. It fulfills a lot of things we need. Be happy in this moment. Be happy now. This is the point of power. Everything else is in the past or in the future.
KING: Just ahead, positive thinking and your pocketbook. Find out how it can pay off financially when LARRY KING LIVE comes back.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
VITALE: When I was in Dallas, and this would have been in the late '70s, I was virtually, I was not virtually, I was homeless for a short period of time. You don't ever want to be homeless for a single day but I was for a short period of time.
But throughout it all, I was always maintaining my vision, my goal, my focus. I want to be an author. I want to write books. And I would say I would owe it all to the principles that are in the DVD movie "The Secret," the principles I talk about in my books like "The Attractor Factor," and, of course, through never giving up, never giving up the dream, the desire, the hope, that vision and constantly going forward with it.
Because you are the masterpiece of your own life, you are the Michelangelo of your own life. The David that you are sculpting is you.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
VITALE: Well another thing people wonder about is how long is this going to take? How long will it take to manifest the car, the relationship, the money whatever it happens to be?
Well, I don't have any rule book that says it's going to take you 30 minutes or three days or 30 days. I think it's more a matter of you being in alignment with the universe itself.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: We're back on this very special edition of beyond the power of positive thinking. Our guests are James Ray, president and CEO of James Ray International; Jack Canfield, the famed originator of the "Chicken Soup for the Soul" series; Dr. Joe Vitale, president of the Hypnotic Marketing, Incorporated organization and founder and president of the Hypnotic Marketing Institute; Dr. George Pratt is chairman of psychology at Scripps Memorial Hospital in La Jolla, California; and Jayne Payne is a therapist, social worker and a licensed chemical dependent counselor.
We're going to talk about money in this segment. James, what's -- explain the power of partnerships.
RAY: Well, I made a decision several years ago, over a decade ago, that really changed my life. I made a decision I wasn't going to spend high quantity time with people I didn't want to be.
KING: This is in the financial area we're discussing.
RAY: Yes. Financially or anyway -- in any area, actually. You know, because I looked around at the people I was hanging out with, and they weren't going the same places I was going, they weren't doing the same things I was doing, they weren't thinking the way I was thinking. So they were holding me back.
So I made a decision to start spending more time with people that were like-minded and moving in the direction I was going. KING: Jack, explain the time management system.
CANFIELD: Well, basically the system is divided into three parts. You divide your days into three kind of days. Focus days, free days and buffer days.
And a focus day is 85 percent of your time is focused on the 20 percent of your life that produces 80 percent of the results. So each of us has something that we do naturally that we would call our core genius. For me it's teaching, speaking, writing, et cetera.
The second kind of day is a free day. It's midnight to midnight with no work related activity. And by that definition, there are some people who haven't had a free day in three years. And what we now know from the studies is the people that take more free days actually end up making more money, because when they're off, that's when the creative ideas come forward, the inspirations for new products, new ideas, new services, new ways to be in the world.
And the third kind of day is a buffer day. And that's when you are doing the things like delegating, preparation. You have to go out there and run around and do your laundry and get all that stuff done.
But the point is, that we do have to have those days. So the key is, you want to have more focus days, more free days and less buffer days. And you want to have your schedule determine what kind of day it is, so you're not just responding to people, you're intentional.
KING: Joe, how do we increase the speed of attaining financial career goals?
VITALE: I think it is a couple of things. One of them is focussing on what you want, being very clear on the amount of money, making sure it's a stretch, but it's still believable.
Another thing is to visualize it with feeling, making sure that that feeling element is there.
And the third is to be taking action, and make sure that you're acting on the ideas. Because when your stated intention is that you want to have so much money, and start to take action for it, you will start to go in that direction. You'll start to have ideas, but your bargain is you have to act on those ideas or nothing will get done.
KING: Doctor, is a personal coach a good idea?
PRATT: I think we all need coaching. And I think we can all benefit from learning in new ways.
I know that when you're thinking about coaching or using others as resources, even in the financial area, new ideas can present some very interesting opportunities.
KING: Go ahead. I want to get an audience question, but go ahead, Joe. VITALE: OK, I just wanted to -- you asked about coaching. I want to point out how important it is to have a coach, because most of us are thinking within this little ball and nest of beliefs. We don't know what the beliefs are because they are what we think all the time. Somebody else, a coach on the outside can listen to you and feedback to you what your own thoughts are.
KING: An objective.
VITALE: Objective person, yes.
KING: We have a question in the audience from Rob Christie (ph) -- Rob.
QUESTION: Hi.
Thank you, everybody.
I'm a single man with a single income, and I love my job. I love what I do. But it puts me at a certain financial level, and are there any actual steps that you can recommend to help me obtain my goal of buying a house and, more importantly, buying a house where I want to live, which is at the beach?
KING: James, is he thinking out of bounds?
RAY: Well, you know, it really depends. You've got to get really clear. If that house is what you want, then you've got to, again, think, feel and act as if you are going to get that house. You've got to take the action.
You know, I've worked with several individuals who couldn't come up with the money for the down payment, but they went ahead and took the action towards it, and by and large, they attracted $100,000, $20,000 here, $10,000 here from their friends and family. And they bought the home.
So you've got to take that action. You've got to move forward, thinking, feeling, acting and knowing that you can do that. And you can make it happen. You really can.
CANFIELD: My mentor was a man named W. Clement Stone, who worth $600 million when I worked for him. And he taught me this principle. And I was a teacher in Chicago making $8,000 a year. And I took a course with him. And he said I want you to set a goal that's so big that if you achieve it, you'll know it's because of what I'm teaching you.
So I set a goal to make $100,000 in one year. Now, you know,they don't pay you more to become a good teacher. So I had no idea how I was going to do that, but I visualized it, I had an affirmation, I felt the feelings, I saw myself living in this $100,000 lifestyle.
And to make a long story short, what happened was I started getting ideas. I would be in the shower and this inspiration would come, hey, you have a book. It gets 25 cents royalty every time it gets sold. If you sell 400,000 copies of that book, you'd make $100,000.
Now, I didn't know how to do that. My publisher didn't know how to do that. But I started visualizing 400,000 book copies sold. And what changed it was my wife said one day that if we were a bookstore, we would make three dollars a book, then we'd only have to sell 33,000 copies. And by the end of the year we had a mail-order bookstore with 32 different books and tapes and we made $92,328. And I was still a teacher making $8,000, which gives me what?
A $100,000 a year income.
VITALE: Get the house.
KING: We'll take a break and be back with more.
Still to come, the keys to using emotional awareness to control your physical health.
Don't go away.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PAYNE: Relationship addictions are a loss of one's self that occurs when abandonment occurs. And what happens at the point of abandonment, when we're given messages, because we are sexual beings, we're given messages that say, you're not OK as a girl, you're not OK as a boy. And we grow up feeling that we're not OK as sexual beings, so what we do is we try to get those two parts to come together by getting into constant relationships over and over and over again.
And so when those don't work, we eventually end up finally grieving the loss of the abandonment and we stop abandoning ourselves.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
RAY: How can you ever expect anyone else to enjoy your company if you don't enjoy your own company? And so, again, the Law of Attraction, or the secret is about bringing that into your life. And you've got to get really, really clear.
Here's a question I want to ask you to consider. Do you treat yourself the way that you want other people to treat you?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: We're back. Jayne Payne, how do we change habits?
PAYNE: One of the ways to change habits is first become aware you have one. And that's where the outside coaching comes in. And usually people that have habits that are not working for them in their lives will end up in some form of therapy or end up in some kind abusive relationships or getting negative responses.
KING: This panel is not against therapy, is it? UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Not at all.
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Not at all. I think works.
PAYNE: It works together...
KING: How do you cure an addiction, George?
PRATT: Well, you get to the source of it. You support. You change your thinking. You make decisions, you write goals, you go to some kind of 12 step group and you apply the self-calming techniques that are available in a number of resources.
KING: Jayne, explain your intensive grief weekends.
PAYNE: OK. The grief weekends are a weekend where people come and they go down to the very core issue, the very bottom line of why they aren't accomplishing what they want to accomplish in life.
And we work through it, through the grieving process. And at the end, we have a funeral. We bury it. And therefore it is no more. And I always get to the point where we talk at the end, if you go within, you never go without.
KING: Are you saying you can think good health?
RAY: You can. You can. You can just as easily think good health as you can think poor health. You've to give your attention to something, Larry. So energy flows where attention goes. If you get up every single morning and you are giving all your attention to how overweight, out of shape and broke you are, then energy is going to flow in that direction.
KING: Yes, but you can't outthink cancer.
RAY: Well, there is a lot of documented cases where there has been complete remission, complete turnaround.
You know, cancer is a process. And your body turns over. We know that in the medical profession, that your body turns over every seven years or less, every cell, every bone, everything. So when you're diagnosed with a cancer, it is a process of cancering yourself. When you stop that process, you can reverse it. And there is plenty of documented cases.
KING: You work with dolphins?
PRATT: Yes. I do seminars in Hawaii. And that includes swimming with dolphins.
KING: What do you do?
PRATT: Well, it is a heck of a lot of fun to begin with. So it is helpful for our own neurochemicals. But an interesting study came out in a British medical journal last fall that in the clinical trials, swimming with dolphins one hour a day for 10 days helped to reset mild to moderate depression, interestingly.
And I also want to say one thing about what you were saying that ties into the dolphins, and that is I want people to -- in the prevention process, to be going through a gratitude list in the shower, 10 things in the morning, to make sure they get at least three laughs during the day, to do some deep breathing and seeing whatever they want to have happen for two minutes a day.
KING: So is there any area of life this doesn't work?
VITALE: What a great question.
KING: That's why I asked it.
VITALE: I'm glad you did. I'm glad you did. You know, I don't know that there are any limits whatsoever. I keep finding out that what we think is a limit doesn't become a limit. Once we start addressing it, we set a goal to go past it. I mean, it is the old four-minute mile, it's about going to the moon, it's about, you know, Larry, I was homeless at one point. I was in poverty for the longest time. I'm now a bit of an Internet celebrity. I have got more books than I can remember that are out there, most of which are best- sellers. Last week, I bought myself one of 300 hand-made luxury sports cars, a Panoz Esperante, and I'm a guy who was homeless 30 some years ago, paying cash for a luxury car.
You can change your life and you can dissolve anything that you think is your limit. Thirty years ago, I would have said, no, I can't get a -- what is a sports car?
KING: Jayne, you put any limit on anything?
PAYNE: No. There are no limits. Our unconscious mind doesn't know anything is not possible. And if you tap into that...
GANFIELD: Let me tell you a really interesting story. This guy named Cliff Young shows up at a race in Australia, 61 years old, he's wearing Oshkosh overalls, a t-shirt, baseball cap, construction boots and galoshes. And it's a six-day run from Sydney to Melbourne, 650 kilometers. All the young guys who are there, these elite runners, and they think this guy is crazy, he can't possibly do this.
So they all take off and they're all running really fast, and Cliff is kind of doing this what they call the Cliff Young shuffle.
And the thing he didn't know, because he had never read a book on racing, he'd never talked to a runner, he just read what was in the paper and wanted to go do it, is that on these long runs, you're supposed to run for 18 hours, sleep for six.
So that night when everyone went to sleep, he was so far behind, no one told him to go to bed. He ran right by everybody and ran nonstop for five and a half days, Larry, and broke the record of that race by 12 hours.
And he came back the next year, everyone was doing the Cliff Young shuffle, and there were 70 people in the race and they all broke records. But he came in number 12 out of 70.
So he didn't know there was a limit. He didn't know you were supposed to do that.
And we're all controlled by what we have been told is possible instead of told as children, anything is possible.
KING: So the old axiom, mind over matter, works?
GANFIELD: Indeed.
KING: When we come back, we'll talk about some of the key steps that can help you find success. We'll be right back.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
PRATT: It has been very interesting over the years. I started in practice, always trying to help people be their best, and that wasn't always the case with psychology in general. Some people were more oriented in different directions. But mine was a more positive approach, which is now popular.
And I will tell you that even though my seminars that I do where we do end up swimming with dolphins in the wild -- we don't bother them, we let them swim by us if they want to -- is what happens to people after the seminar, combination of education and then being in the energetic field with the dolphins, it's pretty phenomenal. People are -- they're strengthened, they're empowered, and they feel like they can do what they need to do. And whether you think you can do something or you can't, you're right. So you might as well focus on the positive.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
GANFIELD: Decide what you want. Believe you can have it. Believe you deserve it. Believe it is possible for you. And then close your eyes every day for several minutes and visualize having what you already want and feeling the feelings of already having it.
Come out of that, and focus on what you're grateful for already. And really be -- enjoy it, OK? And then go into your day and release it to the universe, and trust that the universe will figure out how to manifest it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
KING: James Ray, you say gratitude is the most powerful force. Does it work?
RAY: It really is. Well, energy flows where attention goes. If you have a relationship, a romantic relationship, and you're grateful and you love him or her, you give them attention, right? If you have children and you love them, you give them attention. Attention equals love.
KING: Why aren't we grateful?
RAY: Most people are in love with their misery, because they're attending to it all the time. It's like a roaring bonfire and they're throwing another log on it every day.
KING: Jack, what...
GANFIELD: Focus on what you're grateful for. What it focuses you on is what you want more in your life. The reason you're grateful is it makes you happy. You're feeling good about it. So by focusing your gratitude on that, as you were saying every morning, you know, go through a gratitude list -- I spend seven minutes every morning writing down what I'm grateful for.
KING: Joe, what is the danger of feeling desperate?
VITALE: You're going to attract more desperation. The energy that you send out is the attractor. This is from my book, "The Attractor Factor." It's got to pull back whatever it is that you're feeling. You're going to get more of it. So if you're feeling desperate, the only thing that you're going to notice, the only thing that you're going to attract are more feelings, thoughts and situations that will make you feel desperate.
KING: Perseverance is very important, right, doc?
PRATT: Perseverance, persistence, developing new habits.
KING: And that can be taught.
PRATT: It can be taught and it can be practiced. And the more you practice it, the better you get.
KING: We have another question from our audience, from Elizabeth Decosta (ph). Elizabeth.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Hi, guys. So I've been working the principles and staying positive and all of that. My question is, how do you politely address those around you, whether they're friends or family, who don't support you or are not on the same path and -- well, actually turn down your goals, your dreams and your aspirations? Are you supposed to, like, remove them from your circle, or how do you...
KING: Great question. I will go to Jayne first and then...
PAYNE: The thing that I've found with working with this for many years is once you begin to have that attraction in your life, and once you begin to put that into motion and it begins to happen for you, an amazing thing happens. These things just kind of fall away from your life, because you're no long attracting them. So they kind of resolve themselves. They will just eventually dissipate because you're attracting something new into your life. And when we eliminate something out of our life, we replace it with something else.
KING: James?
RAY: The things we're talking about here, your peer group will change. When you choose to pursue your greatness, you'll represent the courage, in many cases, that other people don't have. And so you've got to be prepared for that.
But it will, as Jayne said, take care of itself. It doesn't mean they're not good people. They're wonderful people, as I believe all people are, but they're not going in the same direction you are.
And so -- you still love them, but I would recommend you don't spend high quantity time with people who aren't in the same mindset.
KING: Jack, what's the importance of responding to feedback?
CANFIELD: Well, basically, I teach that the way to improve is to solicit and respond to feedback. So I teach a question that my wife and I use once a week, and that I teach other people to use. On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate the quality of our relationship, or how would you rate the quality of this show or this product or service we have?
Anything less than ten gets a follow-up question: what would it take to make it a ten?
So one time I did this with my wife and she said six. And I said, wow what would it take to make it a ten?
She said don't interrupt me when I'm telling a joke because you think you can tell a punchline better. She said your job is to put the kids to bed. I don't care if it is the NBA playoffs, I don't want to have to remind you. You don't remind me to get them up in the morning. She went on with about five or six other things. But now I have five ways I can improve my relationship. Most people don't ask for feedback because they are afraid of what they're going to hear.
KING: What if you disagree?
CANFIELD: You don't have to agree. You don't have to do it. But at least I know what, in her perception, would allow the relationship to go forward.
And here's the other thing. Most people don't ask and the reason is they're afraid to hear it. I say, look, if you don't ask your wife or your children or whatever, they've already -- your wife's already told her mother, her girlfriend, the people at work, the people at the supermarket, the people in the hair salon. You're the only one who doesn't know.
KING: Coming up in our final segment, how to make the start of your day the start of a new life.
Don't go away.
DR. SANJAY GUPTA, CNN MEDICAL CORRESPONDENT: Hello.
I'm Dr. Sanjay Gupta.
If you're enjoying tonight's LARRY KING LIVE, tune in Sunday at 10:00 p.m. I'm going to have an hour long special on the remarkable links between happiness and your health.
You're going to learn about the latest research and how it could help you live a longer and happier life.
I'm also going to tell you why laughter really might be the best medicine.
All of that this Sunday at 10:00 p.m. Eastern.
"Happiness and Your Health: the Surprising Connection."
Meantime, also visit the specials website at CNN.com/happiness.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
KING: We're back.
I want to get some questions in from the audience and wind up from each of our panelists.
Jocelyn McCarthy (ph).
QUESTION: Yes.
Hi, thank you.
My question is how do you manage personal, professional and spiritual life in this demanding society?
RAY: That's harmonic wealth. It really is. You know, I think you -- I think that presupposes that you can't do that. You absolutely can. You absolutely can. You need to make a decision you can. You need to sit down.
I would encourage you to sit down right now and make a list of the five key areas of life, financial, relational, intellectual, physical, spiritual and what exactly you want to create and attract in each of those areas. And then keep your attention on that, regardless of what's going on around you and you'll begin to create it.
KING: And one more from Ron Drescher (ph) and then a follow-up with each of our panelists -- Ron.
QUESTION: All right.
Thank you.
I want to be more happy, spiritual and at peace in my life. How do I get started?
KING: Joe? VITALE: Find things to be grateful for right now. Right in this moment. The fact that you can ask this question, the fact that you are alive, the fact that you're breathing, the fact that you're living wherever you're living.
Find a reason to be grateful, much like you mentioned earlier, with a tear in your eye because it is so genuine for you. Out of that gratitude you will find more things to be grateful for. And out of that gratitude you will find happiness right now.
KING: Jack, explain give more to get more.
CANFIELD: Well, basically, the universe responds. If you give, it comes back to you. We've been talking about giving out vibrations. The vibrations come back. The same is true with money. If I give more money, more money tends to come back in my life.
Every time, Larry, that I've gone and done some kind of volunteer work, something's happened out of that experience where I've met somebody, maybe a bank president, who then hires me to come speak to his company.
It always comes back. So basically, people that are successful -- I mean, you had Donald Trump and Kiyosaki on your program not so long ago. And they're two of the biggest givers I know. And so by giving, they get more back. And I think that it's true for all of us. So givers get.
KING: Dr. Pratt, how do you start a new day to start a new life?
PRATT: Well, I like the gratitude list in the morning. And then doing the two minutes of imagery of the different elements that you want. If you want to change something in your life, make that part of the end result imagery, in terms of balance, spiritually, mentally, physically, et cetera. Make that part of that two-minute imagery, so that you can come back to it, so you're mindful during the day, you're aware of it. And so your attention is continuing to be focussed on it.
KING: Jayne, isn't change the hardest thing?
PAYNE: Actually...
KING: The thing we fear the most.
PAYNE: ... it's the thing that's feared the most.
However, change within itself will happen automatically whether we want it or not. Change goes on every day. It's how we react to the change in our life that determines what the outcome will be.
KING: James, how about world problems and the effect on daily life? You look at an Iraq or you look at hurricanes, North Korea setting off a bomb.
RAY: Right. KING: It's easy to say, I'm not too sure about tomorrow.
RAY: It is. I mean, we have a nation in fear. We have a world in fear because we're bombarded all the time with the things that are going on that appear to be so heinous.
But here's the thing, we live in a dualistic world. The law of polarity says if there's an up, there's a down, if there's an in, there's an out. What that means is if you're in a really challenging situation in your life right now, there's something there that's really amazing about it as well. But you're not putting your attention upon it.
See, when you shift your attention, you being to think about it. During the difficult times in our life, Larry, we learn and grow the most through challenges. Don't wish for an easier life. We wish for greater capability to ease elegantly through life.
KING: Only have a minute or so left.
Do you have bad days, Jack?
CANFIELD: I don't have bad days. I can't say I never had...
KING: You don't have bad days?
CANFIELD: No.
KIND: You have bad days, Joe?
VITALE: Occasionally I have bumps in the road, but I certainly get through them much faster than I used to.
KING: Jayne?
PAYNE: I don't have bad days anymore.
KING: Doctor?
PRATT: Quick recovery with the new techniques.
KING: James?
RAY: I don't have bad days. I have challenges, but challenges are a part of life.
KING: James Ray, Jack Canfield, Dr. Joe Vitale -- George Pratt, Joe Vitale, rather. Dr. George Pratt and Jayne Payne on "Beyond the Power of Positive Thinking."
We hope you found this show illuminating. We'd love to hear your comments about it.
We thank you for joining us.
"AC 360" with Anderson Cooper is next. Good night.
TO ORDER A VIDEO OF THIS TRANSCRIPT, PLEASE CALL 800-CNN-NEWS OR USE OUR SECURE ONLINE ORDER FORM LOCATED AT www.voxant.com
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Great hand/eye fitness...along with the Beatles.
Now this guy's got AMAZING hand/eye cordination (not to mention stamina too!)
Watch Chris Bliss as he performs his amazing juggling routine with "Golden Slumber".
I actually stood up and clapped along with the audience standing ovation scene at the end of this video clip...lol!
Watch Chris Bliss as he performs his amazing juggling routine with "Golden Slumber".
I actually stood up and clapped along with the audience standing ovation scene at the end of this video clip...lol!
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Putting a Stop to Food Cravings!
By Adriel Yapana, Certified Fitness Professional
Most of us are "regular" people. We don't eat the perfect diet all the time and have our struggles with food, same as everyone else. But having an awareness of this fact and knowing a little bit about our health and food nutrition can help when it comes to making wise decisions.
Many people struggle with food "cravings." Studies tell us that it's fairly common for food cravings to happen at certain times, quite often at around bedtime. Your guard may be down, you may have had an unusually hard day, and off you go on your not-so-merry way to find that tasty treat. Fatigue and stress often combine to take their toll on the best of intentions.
When food cravings are unconstrained, what starts out as a bedtime snack quickly turns into a full blown feeding frenzy... not something most of us fully understand or appreciate. We head to kitchen and every other place where food can hide, clearing a path as we go.
Most food cravings are not about satisfying a nutritional need or imbalance. They seem to be more emotionally related, or God forbid, are caused by plain old gluttony. Exactly why we over-indulge is not completely understood, however our knowledge about this subject continues to grow.
Listed below are some thoughts and ideas about food cravings:
- If the food isn't available, you can't eat it! Empty the cookie jar and keep it that way! Keep healthy food choices on-hand.
- Recognize the feelings and emotions that lead-up to a food craving. Do you have food cravings when you're bored, lonely, or stressed? If you can identify a trigger, you can deal with the emotion that's making you desire a certain food. Try to deal with the triggers in the best way you can.
- Sometimes, even recognizing that a craving is about to happen doesn't seem to help. Don't beat yourself-up. There is always tomorrow. Call a friend, make good use of your support network and share your feelings with someone.
- Get enough sleep. When you're tired, you're more likely to crave things.
- Never give-up. When you "slip", press-in, bear-down, get a grip, do whatever is neessary to re-gain control. Try to practice restraint most of the time, but don't get legalistic and un-balanced in your weight loss approach. Think moderation and not abstinence at all times!
- Understand that self-control and discipline by themselves, won't cut it! If you depend totally on yourself for control, you will fail. Forming caring and supportive relationships is required. If you do not currently have a support network, start building one TODAY.
- Exercise. It increases feel-good endorphins that cut down on your cravings. Try to get at least 30 minutes of physical activity every day.
- Use moderation. Instead of stuffing yourself with every kind of food hoping that your craving will go away, eat 100 to 200 calories of your "craved" food.
- Substitute with low-fat foods and complex carbs. If you're hungry for chocolate, eat non-fat chocolate yogurt. Try fig bars or raisins for a sweet craving.
- Never skip a meal. Eat every three to five hours. Try six smaller meals or regular meals with nutritious snacks.
- Understand that hunger craving are oftentimes stress related. Practice other ways to treat chronic stress – a walk in the park, spiritual connections, a cozy fireplace, baths...all these stimulate neurochemicals that activate regions of the brain that stimulate pleasure. Relaxation techniques may work by reducing the psychological drives on stress output, which can be the root causes of stress. Bottom line, substitute pleasurable experiences for comfort foods.
- Beware of certain medications. They can stimulate appetite. Drugs used for the treatment of depression and bipolar disorder can be appetite stimulants. Other drugs, both prescription and over the counter, may influence appetite as well. If you are on a medication, and troubled by food cravings, discuss this with your doctor or pharmacist. You may be able to find an alternative that doesn't send your cravings out of control.
- Distract Yourself. What's that old expression...idle hands are the devils workshop? Get busy. Do anything other than cave-in to your desire for food, and keep doing it until the cravings subside.
- One final thought, take a look inside your refrigerator and kitchen cabinets and do some general "house cleaning." Throw-out all that unhealthy stuff that is waiting to sabotage your diet, and start shopping more wisely. A little forethought and careful planning will go a long way for improving your chances of success.
Eat wisely, be happy, and live long!
Most of us are "regular" people. We don't eat the perfect diet all the time and have our struggles with food, same as everyone else. But having an awareness of this fact and knowing a little bit about our health and food nutrition can help when it comes to making wise decisions.
Many people struggle with food "cravings." Studies tell us that it's fairly common for food cravings to happen at certain times, quite often at around bedtime. Your guard may be down, you may have had an unusually hard day, and off you go on your not-so-merry way to find that tasty treat. Fatigue and stress often combine to take their toll on the best of intentions.
When food cravings are unconstrained, what starts out as a bedtime snack quickly turns into a full blown feeding frenzy... not something most of us fully understand or appreciate. We head to kitchen and every other place where food can hide, clearing a path as we go.
Most food cravings are not about satisfying a nutritional need or imbalance. They seem to be more emotionally related, or God forbid, are caused by plain old gluttony. Exactly why we over-indulge is not completely understood, however our knowledge about this subject continues to grow.
Listed below are some thoughts and ideas about food cravings:
- If the food isn't available, you can't eat it! Empty the cookie jar and keep it that way! Keep healthy food choices on-hand.
- Recognize the feelings and emotions that lead-up to a food craving. Do you have food cravings when you're bored, lonely, or stressed? If you can identify a trigger, you can deal with the emotion that's making you desire a certain food. Try to deal with the triggers in the best way you can.
- Sometimes, even recognizing that a craving is about to happen doesn't seem to help. Don't beat yourself-up. There is always tomorrow. Call a friend, make good use of your support network and share your feelings with someone.
- Get enough sleep. When you're tired, you're more likely to crave things.
- Never give-up. When you "slip", press-in, bear-down, get a grip, do whatever is neessary to re-gain control. Try to practice restraint most of the time, but don't get legalistic and un-balanced in your weight loss approach. Think moderation and not abstinence at all times!
- Understand that self-control and discipline by themselves, won't cut it! If you depend totally on yourself for control, you will fail. Forming caring and supportive relationships is required. If you do not currently have a support network, start building one TODAY.
- Exercise. It increases feel-good endorphins that cut down on your cravings. Try to get at least 30 minutes of physical activity every day.
- Use moderation. Instead of stuffing yourself with every kind of food hoping that your craving will go away, eat 100 to 200 calories of your "craved" food.
- Substitute with low-fat foods and complex carbs. If you're hungry for chocolate, eat non-fat chocolate yogurt. Try fig bars or raisins for a sweet craving.
- Never skip a meal. Eat every three to five hours. Try six smaller meals or regular meals with nutritious snacks.
- Understand that hunger craving are oftentimes stress related. Practice other ways to treat chronic stress – a walk in the park, spiritual connections, a cozy fireplace, baths...all these stimulate neurochemicals that activate regions of the brain that stimulate pleasure. Relaxation techniques may work by reducing the psychological drives on stress output, which can be the root causes of stress. Bottom line, substitute pleasurable experiences for comfort foods.
- Beware of certain medications. They can stimulate appetite. Drugs used for the treatment of depression and bipolar disorder can be appetite stimulants. Other drugs, both prescription and over the counter, may influence appetite as well. If you are on a medication, and troubled by food cravings, discuss this with your doctor or pharmacist. You may be able to find an alternative that doesn't send your cravings out of control.
- Distract Yourself. What's that old expression...idle hands are the devils workshop? Get busy. Do anything other than cave-in to your desire for food, and keep doing it until the cravings subside.
- One final thought, take a look inside your refrigerator and kitchen cabinets and do some general "house cleaning." Throw-out all that unhealthy stuff that is waiting to sabotage your diet, and start shopping more wisely. A little forethought and careful planning will go a long way for improving your chances of success.
Eat wisely, be happy, and live long!
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
How can you help spread happiness?
Hey Gang,
Did you guys vote yesterday? I met a lady in her 70's who gets nervous during the election. After she casted her votes, she was trembling as I walked with her out the polling place. She's proud for that fact that she has the right to vote for herself...then she offered to invite me to, get this guys, grab a beer! (to help calm her nerves she said...lol!)
Everyone deserves a chance to inspire someone's mind postively...
Here's a great video to warm you up a bit on that thought...
Be Happy, It's your decision,
Adriel Yapana
Did you guys vote yesterday? I met a lady in her 70's who gets nervous during the election. After she casted her votes, she was trembling as I walked with her out the polling place. She's proud for that fact that she has the right to vote for herself...then she offered to invite me to, get this guys, grab a beer! (to help calm her nerves she said...lol!)
Everyone deserves a chance to inspire someone's mind postively...
Here's a great video to warm you up a bit on that thought...
Be Happy, It's your decision,
Adriel Yapana
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Exericse Video Tip at "The Code"
Hey Glendale Gang!
If you're going to do resistance training for the long haul, you'll need to learn how it works.
There's a free video hosting service from google.com called google video and I will be using it extensively here to host my video clips from my tiny workout space called "The Code."
(BTW, do you notice Vitruvian Man by Leonardo da Vinci as a backdrop??)
Why the name?
Because we find and unlock the combinations holding you back, empower you and create results here. Yes, it's an intimate setting but it gets the job done!
Before you watch my video clip, I should warn you:
* We don't have professional lighting equipment
* We don't have professional video equipment.
* We don't have a professional camera man.
* We don't rehearse (for the most part).
* We don't clean "The Code" before we shoot video.
* We don't care how the video really looks.
And remember, when you've changed your body (and life), I want you to take the credit. Why? Because I am just the catalyst. That's all!
So when you look in the mirror and see that body you've sculpted, YOU'VE EARNED IT!
All because of YOU, your drive and commitment to YOUR personal fitness program.
I will refer the tips called "WOD" (Work Out of the Day - I learned this acronym from crossfit.com) or I'll talk about one of my components of fitness I call "ELF".
E stands for Exercise (We'll maximize our metabolism through a variety of exercises. We've got to move...calories don't get burned on their own, plus exercise activates postive emotions key to achieveing optimal daily performance, well-being and fullfillment!)
L stands for Lifestyle Food Plan (Exercise alone cannot overcome bad nutritional habits)
F stands for FUN! (Yes, you can't forget this magic ingredient...fun is contagious!!)
I'd love to hear ideas and thoughts on how you shake up your personal routines...so feel free to email me at: askadriel@gmail.com
Stay tuned for future video clip updates on my vlog...
Live Your Best Life!,
Adriel Yapana
askadriel@gmail.com
www.fullyalivewomen.com
If you're going to do resistance training for the long haul, you'll need to learn how it works.
There's a free video hosting service from google.com called google video and I will be using it extensively here to host my video clips from my tiny workout space called "The Code."
(BTW, do you notice Vitruvian Man by Leonardo da Vinci as a backdrop??)
Why the name?
Because we find and unlock the combinations holding you back, empower you and create results here. Yes, it's an intimate setting but it gets the job done!
Before you watch my video clip, I should warn you:
* We don't have professional lighting equipment
* We don't have professional video equipment.
* We don't have a professional camera man.
* We don't rehearse (for the most part).
* We don't clean "The Code" before we shoot video.
* We don't care how the video really looks.
And remember, when you've changed your body (and life), I want you to take the credit. Why? Because I am just the catalyst. That's all!
So when you look in the mirror and see that body you've sculpted, YOU'VE EARNED IT!
All because of YOU, your drive and commitment to YOUR personal fitness program.
I will refer the tips called "WOD" (Work Out of the Day - I learned this acronym from crossfit.com) or I'll talk about one of my components of fitness I call "ELF".
E stands for Exercise (We'll maximize our metabolism through a variety of exercises. We've got to move...calories don't get burned on their own, plus exercise activates postive emotions key to achieveing optimal daily performance, well-being and fullfillment!)
L stands for Lifestyle Food Plan (Exercise alone cannot overcome bad nutritional habits)
F stands for FUN! (Yes, you can't forget this magic ingredient...fun is contagious!!)
I'd love to hear ideas and thoughts on how you shake up your personal routines...so feel free to email me at: askadriel@gmail.com
Stay tuned for future video clip updates on my vlog...
Live Your Best Life!,
Adriel Yapana
askadriel@gmail.com
www.fullyalivewomen.com
Monday, November 06, 2006
Little Known Facts About Changes In Our Diet
By Adriel Yapana, Certified Fitness Professional
To say that Americans are obsessed with dieting is an understatement! Pick up any magazine, tune-in or turn-on any source of advertising and you're bombarded with the latest diet schemes and food fads. More often than not, they are endorsed by some familiar Hollywood celebrity, or promoted using some other cleaver technique.
It's no mystery that the weight-loss industry has built a thriving empire. In America, for example, we spend about 35 billion dollars every year on an assortment of weight loss products and plans. In addition, we spend another 79 billion dollars for medication, hospitalization, and doctors to treat obesity-related problems. Even with this, the obesity epidemic continues to spread. Sadly, we have become the heaviest generation in our Nation's history.
The National Center for Health Statistics reports that we have some very good reasons to be concerned about our weight-gain. Americans, for example are packing-on the pounds faster than ever before and weight-related medical problems are taking center stage. Diseases like heart disease, diabetes and yes...even certain forms of cancer have all been linked to obesity.
Here are a few of the surprising statistics about our weight:
- A whopping 64 percent of U.S. adults are either overweight or obese. That's up approximately 8 percent from overweight estimates obtained in a 1988 report.
- The percent of children who are overweight is also continuing to increase. Among children and teens ages 6-19, 15 percent or almost 9 million are overweight. That's triple what the rate was in 1980!
- Nearly one-third of all adults are now classified as obese. At present, 31 percent of adults 20 years of age and over or nearly 59 million people have a body mass index (BMI) of 30 or greater, compared with 23 percent in 1994.
(The BMI is a number that shows body weight adjusted for height. For adults, a BMI of 18.5 - 24.9 is considered normal. A BMI of 25.0 - 29.9 is overweight and 30.0 or above, is considered obese.)
Modern life both at home and at work has come to revolve around moving from one "seated" position to another: whether it's television, computers, remote controls, or automobiles, we seem to be broadening the scope of our inactive endeavors.
At times, life seems to have gotten almost too easy! For entertainment, we can now just sit-down, dial-up our favorite TV program or DVD movie and enjoy hours of uninterrupted ntertainment...
And all those simple calorie burning activities that were once a normal part of our daily routine not so long ago? Long gone! You know the ones I'm talking about...activities like climbing stairs instead of using escalators and elevators. Or, pushing a lawn mower instead of riding around on a garden tractor. And what about that daily walk to school? Now, our kids complain when the school bus happens to be a few minutes late getting to the bus stop!
Along with the convenience of our affluent lifestyle and reduction in energy expenditure, have come changes in our diet. We are now consuming more calorie rich and nutrient deficient foods than ever before.
Here are a few examples of what we were eating in the 1970's compared to our diet today (information is taken from a recent U.S. Department of Agriculture survey):
- We are currently eating more grain products, but almost all of them are refined grains (white bread, etc.). Grain consumption has jumped 45 percent since the 1970s, from 138 pounds of grains per person per year to 200 pounds! Only 2 percent of the wheat flour is consumed as whole wheat.
- Our consumption of fruits and vegetables has increased, but only because the U.S.D.A. includes French fries and potato chips as a vegetable. Potato products account for almost a third of our "produce" choices.
- We're drinking less milk, but we've more than doubled our cheese intake. Cheese now outranks meat as the number one source of saturated fat in our diets.
- We've cut back on red meat, but have more than made up for the loss by increasing our intake of chicken (battered and fried), so that overall, we're eating 13 pounds more meat today than we did back in the 1970s.
- We're drinking three times more carbonated soft drinks than milk, compared to the 1970's, when milk consumption was twice that of pop.
- We use 25 percent less butter, but pour twice as much vegetable oil on our food and salads, so our total added fat intake has increased 32 percent.
- Sugar consumption has been another cause of our expanding waistlines. Sugar intake is simply off the charts. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, people are consuming roughly twice the amount of sugar they need each day, about 20 teaspoons on a 2000 calorie/day diet. The added sugar is found mostly in junk foods, such as pop, cake, and cookies.
- In 1978, the government found that sugars constituted only 11 percent of the average person's calories. Now, this number has ballooned to 16 percent for the average American adult and as much as 20 percent for American teenagers.
The days of the wholesome family dinners so near and dear to our hearts, where we all sat around the kitchen table to discuss events of the day, are now a part of our sentimental past. They have been replaced by our cravings for take-out and fast-food. We have gradually come to accept that it's "OK" to sacrifice healthy foods for the sake of convenience and that larger serving portions mean better value.
And, since I have been throwing-out statistics, here's one more: Americans are consuming about 300 more calories each day than we did twenty years ago. We should actually be eating less because of our decreased activity level, but instead are doing the opposite!
Decide TODAY that healthy eating and exercise habits will become a permanent part of your life!
Begin to explore your values and thoughts and other areas of your life where change may be required, and then take action. Begin slowly, but deliberately to make improvements in the areas you identify. And remember, it has taken a very long time to develop your habits, and it will take some time to undo them... so be patient!
To say that Americans are obsessed with dieting is an understatement! Pick up any magazine, tune-in or turn-on any source of advertising and you're bombarded with the latest diet schemes and food fads. More often than not, they are endorsed by some familiar Hollywood celebrity, or promoted using some other cleaver technique.
It's no mystery that the weight-loss industry has built a thriving empire. In America, for example, we spend about 35 billion dollars every year on an assortment of weight loss products and plans. In addition, we spend another 79 billion dollars for medication, hospitalization, and doctors to treat obesity-related problems. Even with this, the obesity epidemic continues to spread. Sadly, we have become the heaviest generation in our Nation's history.
The National Center for Health Statistics reports that we have some very good reasons to be concerned about our weight-gain. Americans, for example are packing-on the pounds faster than ever before and weight-related medical problems are taking center stage. Diseases like heart disease, diabetes and yes...even certain forms of cancer have all been linked to obesity.
Here are a few of the surprising statistics about our weight:
- A whopping 64 percent of U.S. adults are either overweight or obese. That's up approximately 8 percent from overweight estimates obtained in a 1988 report.
- The percent of children who are overweight is also continuing to increase. Among children and teens ages 6-19, 15 percent or almost 9 million are overweight. That's triple what the rate was in 1980!
- Nearly one-third of all adults are now classified as obese. At present, 31 percent of adults 20 years of age and over or nearly 59 million people have a body mass index (BMI) of 30 or greater, compared with 23 percent in 1994.
(The BMI is a number that shows body weight adjusted for height. For adults, a BMI of 18.5 - 24.9 is considered normal. A BMI of 25.0 - 29.9 is overweight and 30.0 or above, is considered obese.)
Modern life both at home and at work has come to revolve around moving from one "seated" position to another: whether it's television, computers, remote controls, or automobiles, we seem to be broadening the scope of our inactive endeavors.
At times, life seems to have gotten almost too easy! For entertainment, we can now just sit-down, dial-up our favorite TV program or DVD movie and enjoy hours of uninterrupted ntertainment...
And all those simple calorie burning activities that were once a normal part of our daily routine not so long ago? Long gone! You know the ones I'm talking about...activities like climbing stairs instead of using escalators and elevators. Or, pushing a lawn mower instead of riding around on a garden tractor. And what about that daily walk to school? Now, our kids complain when the school bus happens to be a few minutes late getting to the bus stop!
Along with the convenience of our affluent lifestyle and reduction in energy expenditure, have come changes in our diet. We are now consuming more calorie rich and nutrient deficient foods than ever before.
Here are a few examples of what we were eating in the 1970's compared to our diet today (information is taken from a recent U.S. Department of Agriculture survey):
- We are currently eating more grain products, but almost all of them are refined grains (white bread, etc.). Grain consumption has jumped 45 percent since the 1970s, from 138 pounds of grains per person per year to 200 pounds! Only 2 percent of the wheat flour is consumed as whole wheat.
- Our consumption of fruits and vegetables has increased, but only because the U.S.D.A. includes French fries and potato chips as a vegetable. Potato products account for almost a third of our "produce" choices.
- We're drinking less milk, but we've more than doubled our cheese intake. Cheese now outranks meat as the number one source of saturated fat in our diets.
- We've cut back on red meat, but have more than made up for the loss by increasing our intake of chicken (battered and fried), so that overall, we're eating 13 pounds more meat today than we did back in the 1970s.
- We're drinking three times more carbonated soft drinks than milk, compared to the 1970's, when milk consumption was twice that of pop.
- We use 25 percent less butter, but pour twice as much vegetable oil on our food and salads, so our total added fat intake has increased 32 percent.
- Sugar consumption has been another cause of our expanding waistlines. Sugar intake is simply off the charts. According to the U.S. Department of Agriculture, people are consuming roughly twice the amount of sugar they need each day, about 20 teaspoons on a 2000 calorie/day diet. The added sugar is found mostly in junk foods, such as pop, cake, and cookies.
- In 1978, the government found that sugars constituted only 11 percent of the average person's calories. Now, this number has ballooned to 16 percent for the average American adult and as much as 20 percent for American teenagers.
The days of the wholesome family dinners so near and dear to our hearts, where we all sat around the kitchen table to discuss events of the day, are now a part of our sentimental past. They have been replaced by our cravings for take-out and fast-food. We have gradually come to accept that it's "OK" to sacrifice healthy foods for the sake of convenience and that larger serving portions mean better value.
And, since I have been throwing-out statistics, here's one more: Americans are consuming about 300 more calories each day than we did twenty years ago. We should actually be eating less because of our decreased activity level, but instead are doing the opposite!
Decide TODAY that healthy eating and exercise habits will become a permanent part of your life!
Begin to explore your values and thoughts and other areas of your life where change may be required, and then take action. Begin slowly, but deliberately to make improvements in the areas you identify. And remember, it has taken a very long time to develop your habits, and it will take some time to undo them... so be patient!
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Why Rewarding Yourself Can Help You Lose Weight
By Adriel Yapana
From an early age, we are conditioned to reward ourselves with food. It might have begun in kindergarten, when we were treated to cupcakes at the annual Halloween party. It may have continued through junior high and high school, when we reached for the cookies after a hard day at school. In adulthood, we may buy a high-calorie frappucino to celebrate a success on the job.
But the problem is, food was not designed to be a reward. It exists simply to give us energy. When we look at food as a reward, there is a great temptation to overeat. We believe that we deserve it, that we've earned this opportunity to indulge. We feel gratified when we eat food that might otherwise be forbidden.
Our food-as-reward culture has had calamitous consequences. An increasing number of us are overweight, and getting fatter by the year. We suffer from a myriad of health problems as a result of our obesity. We may feel lethargic and unmotivated--too stuffed to engage in exercise. We have become a nation of couch potatoes.
Yet, we don't have to continue living this way. We can simply stop rewarding ourselves with food. However, it may not be that simple. We will have to change our mindset--to develop alternative systems of rewards. While this may seem difficult at first, it can be accomplished in time.
Here are some ideas for rewards that do not involve food:
* Give yourself a day at the beach. This can clear your mind and can be wonderfully invigorating.
* Schedule some play time. Your play might involve tennis, video games, or blowing bubbles--whatever activity that will get your mind away from the daily routine.
* Go shopping at a dollar store. You won't spend much, but you could pick up some tremendous bargains.
* Share some quality time with your dog or cat. Grab some pet toys and have some fun.
* Go to the cosmetics counter of your local department store and indulge in a makeover.
* Spend a day at a spa. It can be wonderfully relaxing to be pampered with massage and aromatherapy.
* Volunteer an hour or two at your local elementary school. Being with children, even for a short time, can be a rewarding experience.
* Take your children to the playground, a roller rink, or a swim club. The activity can leave you feeling refreshed and energized.
* Buy a new CD from one of your favorite musical artists. Then make sure you spend an hour or two listening to it.
* If you play a musical instrument, sit down and play a few tunes. Music can be a great mood-elevator.
If you don't like the idea of developing an alternative reward system, consider simply varying your routine. If you've become accustomed to rewarding yourself with a high-calorie cappuccino in the morning, spend some time in quiet prayer or reflection instead. If you feel as if you'll be tempted to raid a candy store on your way home from work, take an alternate route instead. In general, keeping busy can prevent you from indulging in food rewards. For instance, you might be so busy reading or knitting that you simply don't have time to reach for a snack.
Making a conscious decision to no longer use food as a reward is certainly counter-cultural. We have been conditioned to believe that there should be a plate of brownies at the end of the rainbow...that heaven is just one hot fudge sundae after another. While food itself isn't bad, our expectations about food can be. The first step to ending a food addiction may be to recognize that food can no longer serve as our reward.
While it can be rough getting out of the food-as-reward habit, it is well worth the effort. If we no longer view food as the prize, we will organize our day differently. We'll devote our mealtimes to food, and the rest of our day to something else. We will eat only those foods designed to help us stay healthy--and we'll be in better shape as a result.
© 2005 Adriel Yapana
From an early age, we are conditioned to reward ourselves with food. It might have begun in kindergarten, when we were treated to cupcakes at the annual Halloween party. It may have continued through junior high and high school, when we reached for the cookies after a hard day at school. In adulthood, we may buy a high-calorie frappucino to celebrate a success on the job.
But the problem is, food was not designed to be a reward. It exists simply to give us energy. When we look at food as a reward, there is a great temptation to overeat. We believe that we deserve it, that we've earned this opportunity to indulge. We feel gratified when we eat food that might otherwise be forbidden.
Our food-as-reward culture has had calamitous consequences. An increasing number of us are overweight, and getting fatter by the year. We suffer from a myriad of health problems as a result of our obesity. We may feel lethargic and unmotivated--too stuffed to engage in exercise. We have become a nation of couch potatoes.
Yet, we don't have to continue living this way. We can simply stop rewarding ourselves with food. However, it may not be that simple. We will have to change our mindset--to develop alternative systems of rewards. While this may seem difficult at first, it can be accomplished in time.
Here are some ideas for rewards that do not involve food:
* Give yourself a day at the beach. This can clear your mind and can be wonderfully invigorating.
* Schedule some play time. Your play might involve tennis, video games, or blowing bubbles--whatever activity that will get your mind away from the daily routine.
* Go shopping at a dollar store. You won't spend much, but you could pick up some tremendous bargains.
* Share some quality time with your dog or cat. Grab some pet toys and have some fun.
* Go to the cosmetics counter of your local department store and indulge in a makeover.
* Spend a day at a spa. It can be wonderfully relaxing to be pampered with massage and aromatherapy.
* Volunteer an hour or two at your local elementary school. Being with children, even for a short time, can be a rewarding experience.
* Take your children to the playground, a roller rink, or a swim club. The activity can leave you feeling refreshed and energized.
* Buy a new CD from one of your favorite musical artists. Then make sure you spend an hour or two listening to it.
* If you play a musical instrument, sit down and play a few tunes. Music can be a great mood-elevator.
If you don't like the idea of developing an alternative reward system, consider simply varying your routine. If you've become accustomed to rewarding yourself with a high-calorie cappuccino in the morning, spend some time in quiet prayer or reflection instead. If you feel as if you'll be tempted to raid a candy store on your way home from work, take an alternate route instead. In general, keeping busy can prevent you from indulging in food rewards. For instance, you might be so busy reading or knitting that you simply don't have time to reach for a snack.
Making a conscious decision to no longer use food as a reward is certainly counter-cultural. We have been conditioned to believe that there should be a plate of brownies at the end of the rainbow...that heaven is just one hot fudge sundae after another. While food itself isn't bad, our expectations about food can be. The first step to ending a food addiction may be to recognize that food can no longer serve as our reward.
While it can be rough getting out of the food-as-reward habit, it is well worth the effort. If we no longer view food as the prize, we will organize our day differently. We'll devote our mealtimes to food, and the rest of our day to something else. We will eat only those foods designed to help us stay healthy--and we'll be in better shape as a result.
© 2005 Adriel Yapana
Friday, November 03, 2006
Perfectionism and What You Can Do About It
By Adriel Yapana
"You don't have to get it right. You just have to get it going." -- Mike Litman
The quote above has to be the most important idea for many a business person. It's the antidote to the dread perfectionitist disease that paralyzes you.
Perfectionitis is born of a perfectly reasonable impulse: to produce a quality product.
But it is the "impossible standard" aspect of it that makes it dysfunctional. It is the kind of impulse that makes a parent say "No one's good enough for my Billy" (or Susie). And because getting it perfect is nearly impossible, making public your effort is well nigh impossible.
One of Dan Kennedy's lessons is that half of winning is just showing up! So he and Litman are on the same page.
To have a newsletter and not write to your subscribers is to not show up! What are the problems with not showing up?
- No one remembers you. Harsh but true. Oh, you may be a memory in passing, but people have their own lives. You are a blip on most people's screens. The only way to become a bigger blip is to show up.
- You miss opportunities to announce and to sell. Does this really need any elaboration? Didn't think so.
- You miss opportunities to BUILD on previous opportunities, and so forth.
- You miss chances to establish yourself as an expert in your chosen field.
Besides the inverse of the above, what ADVANTAGES arise from just showing up and communicating to your list?
- You become more comfortable in communicating.
- You build momentum, so that coming up with ideas to communicate is easier.
- You have opportunities to answer the question, "What have you done for me lately."
- You have a store of information which you can archive and then refer your subscribers. For example, you can write, "As I mentioned two weeks ago (url), you can enhance your writing ability by..." And on the archive page, you can advertise.
Yes, the tragedies of not showing up are tremendous. Perfectionism can literally KILL your business!
And the benefits of "just showing up" are equally huge.
Moreover, they can cascade and reinforce each other.
So how can you move yourself to "just show up?"
1 - Use Litman's comment at the top of this article to remind yourself that perfectionism is NOT a good pole star.
2 - Write short pieces. You don't have to write Moby Dick. Short pieces that deliver real information that they can use is what people mainly want.
3 - Give yourself a schedule. And stick to it.
4 - Ask for feedback on what you write. You may find that people like it, even though it's not "perfect." And if they criticize, you'll have information on how to improve.
Do these things and perfectionitis will be a thing of the past, for you will more consistently show up.
"You don't have to get it right. You just have to get it going." -- Mike Litman
The quote above has to be the most important idea for many a business person. It's the antidote to the dread perfectionitist disease that paralyzes you.
Perfectionitis is born of a perfectly reasonable impulse: to produce a quality product.
But it is the "impossible standard" aspect of it that makes it dysfunctional. It is the kind of impulse that makes a parent say "No one's good enough for my Billy" (or Susie). And because getting it perfect is nearly impossible, making public your effort is well nigh impossible.
One of Dan Kennedy's lessons is that half of winning is just showing up! So he and Litman are on the same page.
To have a newsletter and not write to your subscribers is to not show up! What are the problems with not showing up?
- No one remembers you. Harsh but true. Oh, you may be a memory in passing, but people have their own lives. You are a blip on most people's screens. The only way to become a bigger blip is to show up.
- You miss opportunities to announce and to sell. Does this really need any elaboration? Didn't think so.
- You miss opportunities to BUILD on previous opportunities, and so forth.
- You miss chances to establish yourself as an expert in your chosen field.
Besides the inverse of the above, what ADVANTAGES arise from just showing up and communicating to your list?
- You become more comfortable in communicating.
- You build momentum, so that coming up with ideas to communicate is easier.
- You have opportunities to answer the question, "What have you done for me lately."
- You have a store of information which you can archive and then refer your subscribers. For example, you can write, "As I mentioned two weeks ago (url), you can enhance your writing ability by..." And on the archive page, you can advertise.
Yes, the tragedies of not showing up are tremendous. Perfectionism can literally KILL your business!
And the benefits of "just showing up" are equally huge.
Moreover, they can cascade and reinforce each other.
So how can you move yourself to "just show up?"
1 - Use Litman's comment at the top of this article to remind yourself that perfectionism is NOT a good pole star.
2 - Write short pieces. You don't have to write Moby Dick. Short pieces that deliver real information that they can use is what people mainly want.
3 - Give yourself a schedule. And stick to it.
4 - Ask for feedback on what you write. You may find that people like it, even though it's not "perfect." And if they criticize, you'll have information on how to improve.
Do these things and perfectionitis will be a thing of the past, for you will more consistently show up.
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
Invest In Your Health
By Adriel Yapana, Certified Fitness Professional
What if a trusted friend were to tell you about an investment where you could not possibly go wrong...what would be your reaction? And what if there was a virtual mountain of credible information that supported the investment claims...wouldn't you be inclined to take advantage of the opportunity and not miss out on the rewards? Although the answer to these questions seems apparent, when it comes to investing in our health and quality of life we often choose to ignore what obviously works. Take for example, exercise...
Physical fitness may be the ultimate investment opportunity. Think of it this way. If you are willing to make the commitment (investment), you will feel and look healthier, have an abundance of energy, be more self-confident, more productive and discover a more joyous and fulfilling life. These are rewards that money cannot buy and the substance of high quality living. And, the investment of exercise becomes even more attractive when you consider that there is absolutely no down-side risk. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose. How much better can it get? How many times can you remember ever having a better offer? The honest answer is probably never, and yet many of us fail to act on this extraordinary opportunity. We simply choose to procrastinate or ignore the proven benefits of exercise!
Here are a few reasons that sometimes inhibit our willingness to "step out" and make a change or take a chance:
- Sometimes our vision gets clouded. We lose tract of what is really important. When this happens, it's time to forget the trees and look at the forest. Try to focus on exactly what you are trying to accomplish. Sometimes we get so caught up in the detail that I forget where I'm going.
- If we look at the "big" picture, it can seem overwhelming. And the bigger the task, the more overwhelming it can seem. Break the task apart into smaller pieces. Want to lose 50 pounds? Go for 10 pounds, five at a time! Need to start an exercise program? Begin with short, simple exercises and slowly expand your routine. The absolute worse approach to exercise is to overdo it when first starting the program. We seem to have this all or none mindset where we end up killing ourselves the first few times out. We end up stiff, tired, disillusioned, and then quit. Moderation is the key.
- Have you ever not wanted to start something for fear of failure? Take the first step and acknowledge the fear, then the next step will come easier. Fear of the unknown scares us so much we don't want to even begin. Once fears are acknowledged, they usually quiet down. Taking the first step allows us to go past the fear and on to the next step.
- Sometimes we start to think that a task is unpleasant or boring. Just like any other activity, this can also be true for exercise. There are days when we just plain lack the enthusiasm and motivation to continue. It's part of human nature. On days like these focus on 'why' you are doing it. Think about all the people you care about and who may need and rely on you. What would happen if you became ill or disabled and was unable to work for a period of time, or worse, if you were out of the picture completely. How would things change? If something happened tomorrow, how would your family or business manage without you? What do you want your life to be like in the future? There are many tasks or chores we do, that we may not like, but are necessary to live a happen and productive life. Focus on the bigger picture.
- Indecision can be defeating, but doing "anything" is better than doing nothing. There are no wrong choices and very few choices that can't be undone, or done again. Can't decide on a particular exercise program or routine? Pick a few exercises and start with something simple. If you don't like it, go on to the next exercise.
- When you lack the confidence to start something new, take a deep breath and try to figure out why. Are you hesitating because you really lack the skill or is it just imagined? If it's real, try to find out where to gain the skills you need or find someone with the right skills who can help. In the case of exercise, finding a qualified personal fitness trainer can sometimes do the trick, but be wary...some PFT's are overzealous and tend to start newcomers on programs that are too strenuous.
- Life just seems too busy to find time for some activities. Large, uninterrupted chunks of time are very hard to come by. And if we're honest, when they do come, we'd rather do something totally pleasurable! Exercise has to become part of your routine. It can't be an option. Make it a high priority just the same as your career and other areas of interest. You will be surprised at how easy exercise becomes when approached this way!
- Have you ever subconsciously (or otherwise) invited distractions so that you have a "good" reason not to get something done? Sometimes it's the simple things like answering the phone or sitting down to watch that "one" TV program, that distract us. When you find yourself doing this, take control of the situation and make a conscious decision to do what you are avoiding.
To reap the benefits of exercise, or any other health related endeavor, you must agree to become a willing participant. This will require due diligence on your part. And remember, as you embark on your mission you are investing in something near and dear to your own heart... your life and a future of healthy living.
What if a trusted friend were to tell you about an investment where you could not possibly go wrong...what would be your reaction? And what if there was a virtual mountain of credible information that supported the investment claims...wouldn't you be inclined to take advantage of the opportunity and not miss out on the rewards? Although the answer to these questions seems apparent, when it comes to investing in our health and quality of life we often choose to ignore what obviously works. Take for example, exercise...
Physical fitness may be the ultimate investment opportunity. Think of it this way. If you are willing to make the commitment (investment), you will feel and look healthier, have an abundance of energy, be more self-confident, more productive and discover a more joyous and fulfilling life. These are rewards that money cannot buy and the substance of high quality living. And, the investment of exercise becomes even more attractive when you consider that there is absolutely no down-side risk. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose. How much better can it get? How many times can you remember ever having a better offer? The honest answer is probably never, and yet many of us fail to act on this extraordinary opportunity. We simply choose to procrastinate or ignore the proven benefits of exercise!
Here are a few reasons that sometimes inhibit our willingness to "step out" and make a change or take a chance:
- Sometimes our vision gets clouded. We lose tract of what is really important. When this happens, it's time to forget the trees and look at the forest. Try to focus on exactly what you are trying to accomplish. Sometimes we get so caught up in the detail that I forget where I'm going.
- If we look at the "big" picture, it can seem overwhelming. And the bigger the task, the more overwhelming it can seem. Break the task apart into smaller pieces. Want to lose 50 pounds? Go for 10 pounds, five at a time! Need to start an exercise program? Begin with short, simple exercises and slowly expand your routine. The absolute worse approach to exercise is to overdo it when first starting the program. We seem to have this all or none mindset where we end up killing ourselves the first few times out. We end up stiff, tired, disillusioned, and then quit. Moderation is the key.
- Have you ever not wanted to start something for fear of failure? Take the first step and acknowledge the fear, then the next step will come easier. Fear of the unknown scares us so much we don't want to even begin. Once fears are acknowledged, they usually quiet down. Taking the first step allows us to go past the fear and on to the next step.
- Sometimes we start to think that a task is unpleasant or boring. Just like any other activity, this can also be true for exercise. There are days when we just plain lack the enthusiasm and motivation to continue. It's part of human nature. On days like these focus on 'why' you are doing it. Think about all the people you care about and who may need and rely on you. What would happen if you became ill or disabled and was unable to work for a period of time, or worse, if you were out of the picture completely. How would things change? If something happened tomorrow, how would your family or business manage without you? What do you want your life to be like in the future? There are many tasks or chores we do, that we may not like, but are necessary to live a happen and productive life. Focus on the bigger picture.
- Indecision can be defeating, but doing "anything" is better than doing nothing. There are no wrong choices and very few choices that can't be undone, or done again. Can't decide on a particular exercise program or routine? Pick a few exercises and start with something simple. If you don't like it, go on to the next exercise.
- When you lack the confidence to start something new, take a deep breath and try to figure out why. Are you hesitating because you really lack the skill or is it just imagined? If it's real, try to find out where to gain the skills you need or find someone with the right skills who can help. In the case of exercise, finding a qualified personal fitness trainer can sometimes do the trick, but be wary...some PFT's are overzealous and tend to start newcomers on programs that are too strenuous.
- Life just seems too busy to find time for some activities. Large, uninterrupted chunks of time are very hard to come by. And if we're honest, when they do come, we'd rather do something totally pleasurable! Exercise has to become part of your routine. It can't be an option. Make it a high priority just the same as your career and other areas of interest. You will be surprised at how easy exercise becomes when approached this way!
- Have you ever subconsciously (or otherwise) invited distractions so that you have a "good" reason not to get something done? Sometimes it's the simple things like answering the phone or sitting down to watch that "one" TV program, that distract us. When you find yourself doing this, take control of the situation and make a conscious decision to do what you are avoiding.
To reap the benefits of exercise, or any other health related endeavor, you must agree to become a willing participant. This will require due diligence on your part. And remember, as you embark on your mission you are investing in something near and dear to your own heart... your life and a future of healthy living.
The Basics of Hypnosis
By Adriel Yapana
You've seen the stage acts where a hypnotist selects someone out of the audience and when he claps his hands, the unwilling participant struts around the stage clucking like a chicken. You've also seen movies where the hypnotist waves the pocket watch in front of the subject as he utters, "you're getting sleepy … very sleepy." Hypnosis is a little more than what Hollywood or Vegas make it out to be. Below is a brief overview.
Hypnosis is a naturally occurring altered state of consciousness in which the critical faculty is bypassed (mind in the conscious mode) and acceptable selective thinking established. Wow! That's a lot of technical jargon! Simply put, this means that the reasoning, evaluating, judging part of your mind (conscious) is bypassed.
Hypnosis deals with the subconscious. Have you ever driven to work or home or anywhere, arrived at your destination but then had little to no recollection of the drive? Your reasoning, evaluating and judging parts of your mind were still intact and functioning (read: you safely arrived at your location) but your cognizant mind was bypassed. Hypnosis feels very much like that. It's the same or similar feeling as when you day dream. People under hypnosis know exactly what they are doing.
What about control? Many people fear being hypnotized because they falsely believe they will have to give up control of their mind. Not true. Think about when you are so engrossed in a movie and you find yourself in tears. If you've ever watched Saving Private Ryan, the Titanic or the Passion of the Christ you know this scenario all too well. During these movies you were so involved that you actually felt emotion. You were literally in a hypnotic trance. Most importantly, though, you still had the power to emerge from that state if desired.
Your mind may be guided by a movie, self-hypnosis tape, or hypnotist, but you still have the power to resist. If you fully believe and acknowledge that you have the power to resist any control of emotions, then hypnosis is nothing to fear. Unfortunately, some people seem to give up partial control of their minds because they misunderstand who has the power. Unquestionably, someone can be fooled into believing that he has given up control in some forms of stage hypnosis or other experiments. That is likely what often happens in stage shows. But just because someone was tricked doesn't mean it is right or that it will happen to you that way.
Think about it. All hypnosis is self-hypnosis. You are the one who allows your mind to be placed into deep states. You are the one who has the power to resist any unwanted suggestions. It's really a misnomer when people say they were hypnotized. What they really mean is that they allowed their mind to be hypnotized or they allowed a hypnotist to give suggestions that they chose to follow.
Just remember that no one controls your mind unless you first grant permission!
You've seen the stage acts where a hypnotist selects someone out of the audience and when he claps his hands, the unwilling participant struts around the stage clucking like a chicken. You've also seen movies where the hypnotist waves the pocket watch in front of the subject as he utters, "you're getting sleepy … very sleepy." Hypnosis is a little more than what Hollywood or Vegas make it out to be. Below is a brief overview.
Hypnosis is a naturally occurring altered state of consciousness in which the critical faculty is bypassed (mind in the conscious mode) and acceptable selective thinking established. Wow! That's a lot of technical jargon! Simply put, this means that the reasoning, evaluating, judging part of your mind (conscious) is bypassed.
Hypnosis deals with the subconscious. Have you ever driven to work or home or anywhere, arrived at your destination but then had little to no recollection of the drive? Your reasoning, evaluating and judging parts of your mind were still intact and functioning (read: you safely arrived at your location) but your cognizant mind was bypassed. Hypnosis feels very much like that. It's the same or similar feeling as when you day dream. People under hypnosis know exactly what they are doing.
What about control? Many people fear being hypnotized because they falsely believe they will have to give up control of their mind. Not true. Think about when you are so engrossed in a movie and you find yourself in tears. If you've ever watched Saving Private Ryan, the Titanic or the Passion of the Christ you know this scenario all too well. During these movies you were so involved that you actually felt emotion. You were literally in a hypnotic trance. Most importantly, though, you still had the power to emerge from that state if desired.
Your mind may be guided by a movie, self-hypnosis tape, or hypnotist, but you still have the power to resist. If you fully believe and acknowledge that you have the power to resist any control of emotions, then hypnosis is nothing to fear. Unfortunately, some people seem to give up partial control of their minds because they misunderstand who has the power. Unquestionably, someone can be fooled into believing that he has given up control in some forms of stage hypnosis or other experiments. That is likely what often happens in stage shows. But just because someone was tricked doesn't mean it is right or that it will happen to you that way.
Think about it. All hypnosis is self-hypnosis. You are the one who allows your mind to be placed into deep states. You are the one who has the power to resist any unwanted suggestions. It's really a misnomer when people say they were hypnotized. What they really mean is that they allowed their mind to be hypnotized or they allowed a hypnotist to give suggestions that they chose to follow.
Just remember that no one controls your mind unless you first grant permission!
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